A New Life

Be so Thankful for all you have now! God hears your prayers every-time you  speak to him. Be patien… | Inspirational quotes, Bible quotes, Quotes about  god

I am a big believer in the law of attraction. What you speak, think, and focus on most is what you will see manifest in your life. I have used tapping, vision boards, keeping a journal, visualization, meditation, focus wheels, and many other mindfulness methods to keep myself focused and positive. Self-awareness and being in the present moment has been the key to my success when it comes to attracting many of the positive things I have accomplished in my life. Practicing self-awareness has also helped me be very aware of the moments when I am slipping, being less focused on my goals, and focusing more on the things I don’t want.

When I caught myself slipping into the negative mindset I instantly went into action and started asking myself questions, like why? I have recently started the second and final year of grad school for the mental health counseling program while starting practicum, being the office manager of a busy mental health counseling practice that is still navigating telehealth only appointments, while taking care of all my personal relationships and responsibilities. Not to mention, I met a new guy through eHarmony, which was a unique experience that I was highly skeptical of but it has turned out to be a blessing. All of this stress is good stress but none the less, still stress. I felt overwhelmed, irritable, and just wanted time to myself.

I realized I was not taking the time to fully appreciate and be grateful for where I am in this moment and how far I have come. Everything has been falling into place at such a fast pace that I couldn’t keep up! Suddenly I felt like a poor little hamster on a high-speed wheel and I couldn’t stop to just smell the roses. I have paperwork at the office that never stops, clients that need me, homework and projects for class, parents who have doctors appointments, a teenage daughter who has one foot out of the house living at her boyfriends but still has most of her stuff at my house, friends who want to grab lunch, dinner, or at least a coffee, a new boyfriend that is in the military and can only visit one week a month so we make time to FaceTime and call each other as often as possible, pets that need a walk or to be cuddled, a home that needs cleaning, litter box that needs scooped, garden tomatoes that need picked, groceries to buy, clothes to wash, a car that needs an oil change, a body that needs to be exercised…. need I go on?!? I am spreading myself too thin at times and trying to keep all the balls in the air is impossible at times.

This is when you just have to try to appreciate the chaos and stop a moment to take it all in. You don’t have to have it all together all the time. Sometimes things will not be done perfectly but at least you are trying. Give yourself grace and remember there was a time when you were not as far along in life as you are now. You are at a point in life that maybe one time you only dreamed of. I know I have come a long way and I can finally begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel as everything really starts to fall into place. I remind myself to enjoy the process of it all coming together. Enjoy the learning process of school and working in my current job, embrace the process of fixing up my home, loving my pets, going for walks, and watching my daughter navigate her transition into becoming an adult. Absorb myself into the dating and getting to know my new boyfriend and how we laugh and love each other. Some days I may focus more on work or school, other days on self-care and family. You cannot be everywhere and do everything all in one day. Give yourself a chance to enjoy the things you have prayed for and be grateful by being fully present in whatever you choose to put your focus on for the day.

With love, health, and happiness,

Stacy

The Focus Wheel

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The focus wheel is a method created by Abraham Hicks that is designed to help an individual focus on a desire and get into alignment with that desire through asking, believing, and receiving.  This focus wheel helps us with the believing part of the process.  Often, it is easy for us to know what we want and ask for it but believing it is already ours is hard when we can’t see the physical manifestation of it in front of us.  We often ask…how can we truly believe it if we can’t see it?  This is where having faith in the process needs work.  Trust that your source knows exactly what you desire and all you have to do is believe.

Start by writing your desire in the center of the wheel.  Then in each spoke of the wheel write down a positive statement that helps you come closer to believing the manifestation of your desire is possible.

For example:  My desire is to have a successful career but with finals and a new semester starting soon I feel some doubt and fear creep in.  The wheel I have provided has 12 spokes, so lets list twelve different statements that help me believe I have the successful career already in my grasp.

  • I am currently working on my graduate degree and making a 4.0.
  • I am already working at a private practice similar to the one I hope to have for myself.
  • I listen to audio books and pod casts to increase my knowledge in my field.
  • I am seeking education and training in other modalities to add to my practice.
  • I have a true passion for the field I am working in.
  • I am learning something new about myself each day that helps me grow as a therapist.
  • I am collaborating with others in my field.
  • I have created goals in other areas of my life and have successfully accomplished them.
  • I am a strong person who does not give up easily.
  • I am already successful in other areas of my life.
  • I have great support through family and friends.
  • I know I am on the right path because I feel in alignment and like I can do it for hours when I am doing something related to my career goals.

These statements help bring me into alignment with my desire and help me see that I am on the right path.  I don’t have to have all the answers of when, where, and how but I know I am heading in the right direction.  This eases the worry and doubts that may creep in and take me off course when I am having a rough day.  The focus wheel is a great tool to help you refocus on the true desire and not all the negative road blocks that can take you off course.  Keep your eye on the prize!

With love, health, and happiness,

Stacy

Take Responsibility in Your Relationships

Image result for focus on the positive in othersDo you look for challenge in your life?  Do you look for ways to re-evaluate and challenge yourself to grow and learn?  Do you look to keep the spark in your relationships with new and creative conversations, experiences, or maybe even by opening up and sharing parts of yourself that you haven’t before to see where it takes you? Sometimes we expect others to create the magic and blame them later when a relationship fails or we get bored.

In a review of self we should realize others do not have responsibility in how we feel, not even in a romantic relationship.  So, if you are complaining about another individual not meeting your needs you should first look within.  If you find yourself unchallenged or unsatisfied in certain areas of a relationship or even life in general, have you made effort for change?  Relationships should not be one sided.  It is not up to another individual to constantly challenge, entertain, or romance you.  The true growth, spark or chemistry in a relationship comes when both people communicate and work together to create it.  That is why it is called a partnership!

The quickest way to extinguish a romantic spark is to stop communicating and stop physical touch.  If you are not talking or touching your closing yourself off from growth in your relationship.  If you are talking negatively to others about your partner, even if your partner does not know the words being said, it can be felt and the relationship will suffer.  When you feel anger, disappointment, or even just indifference in a relationship it is up to you to create change, do not wait on the other person.  Making a vow to only speak good things over your relationship and partner is a great place to start.  If you are upset, journal it, pray about it, see your counselor (everyone should have one), meditate on it, or hey…maybe just communicate it to your partner, but don’t give any negativity in your relationship or life power by talking about it at length to friends and family.

Your life will be better in every aspect if you think positive, speak positive and believe positive because when all of those are in alignment then you will only attract positive experiences and people.  As we move forward in this month of Thanksgiving please remember to have an attitude of gratitude and don’t take your relationships for granted.  With family and friends coming together over beautiful meals it should be a time of love and togetherness. Really take time this month to reflect and take responsibility for how you are speaking over the relationships and people in your life.

With love, health and happiness,

Stacy

 

Staying Positive

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It is just a fact of life that some days we struggle more than others to find that positive flow.  We may have a really good and obvious reason for the struggle and some days we are just in a funk that we cannot really explain.  Trying to force yourself out of the funk and to be positive is just impossible and actually not recommended.  Sometimes it is best to just fully feel the funk and own it, but in this process have a little talk with yourself.  I know the idea of talking to yourself may sound weird but the truth is most of us spend our lives in our heads having conversations we never really share out-loud with others.  So go ahead and call yourself out on your own crap and then start assessing what is going on in your life.

I don’t care who or where you are in life there is always something to be thankful for.  If there is a will there is a way to focus on the little things in life that bring you joy, I don’t care if its petting your cat or sneaking in to peek at your beautiful sleeping baby…maybe its just being grateful you have running water or clothes on your back.  Just find some starting point to be grateful and run with it.  Once you start in the process of listing all the things you are grateful for then you may want to try some other techniques to find your positive vibe.  I often use a focus wheel which can be Googled and found easily.  The basic concept is to write your intention in the middle of the circle and the ‘spokes’ of the wheel are positive intentions that help you zero in on the center goal.  You can find many examples and even free printouts, or simply create your own.  Now, these are two great starting points, but lets go a little deeper into the real quest for finding your positive.

When I am really struggling to find my mojo I ask myself a few question:  How has my diet been?  Am I drinking enough water?  Have I been getting enough exercise?  Have I been drinking more alcohol lately?  I am a big believer in the mind and body connection and how everything we process through our senses affects us to our soul.  So choose food wisely and before you consume it take time to be grateful for it and ask it to bless your body.  We already know how important water is to the body so make sure you are drinking enough because being dehydrated will affect your mood.  I believe we have all heard by now that exercise can also boost the mood so if you are not moving every day you need to find time to amp it up!  A simple walk in the early morning or after dinner in the evening is a great way to boost energy and mood.  My last question is about alcohol, but you should take into consideration all drugs or meds you may be ingesting.  Alcohol is a depressant and I can tell it has a definite affect on my mood, especially the day after consumption.  I am not talking about a hangover, I am talking about just a couple of glasses of wine will push me over the edge if I am already struggling with something in my life.  Be self-aware of what you are putting in to your body and how it may be affecting you.  What we see, hear, taste and touch affects us on a deeper level than we may realize. So consume wisely.

I am a big consumer of podcasts, audiobooks, youtube videos, guided meditations and even uplifting music when trying to find my positive mojo.  I also incorporate incense, candles, and essential oils into my home so I am receiving positive smells.  I am a big believer in massage, meditation, yoga, chiropractic adjustments, and tapping.  I incorporate all of these into my wellness process to keep a healthy, positive flow within my body and mind.  When you are taking care of yourself and creating personal spaces at work and home that give you a sense of peace it is so much easier to find your positive flow.  We all lead such crazy, busy lives that it is easy to hit a bump in the road and just go on a downward spiral.  Having a game plan and things that work for you to practice easily throughout your day can help you refocus.  I wake up each morning listing off everything I am grateful for as I go through my morning routine.  I listen to my positive music, podcasts and audiobooks on my drive to and from work.  I light a candle or incense and use oils in my bath in the evening and then do a little quiet meditation or tapping session before bed.  Sometimes I replace my morning caffeine with an herbal tea if I am feeling bummed because I know it will be more soothing to my soul.

Find your routines and explore new concepts to get you in that positive flow.  I am always looking for new ways to improve my life.  I think nature is one of the best ways to fully get mindful and realize, whatever struggles we may be going through, we are all part of something bigger, we are not alone, and knowing that makes this big, beautiful mess of life so much sweeter.

With love, health, happiness…and hopes for you all to have a fantastic and blessed day!

Stacy

Choose Positive

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Often we go through life all willy-nilly and not really aware of the thoughts and feelings going on within us in response to the world around us.  We may believe we do not have any control over those thoughts and feelings even if we are aware.  The truth is we do have control, every situation in life is an opportunity to train ourselves to choose more wisely.  Too often we allow ourselves to get into a routine that causes us to just be okay and fine, and okay and fine is really not the words you use when describing a truly fulfilling life.  Many people are going through the motions and just maintaining not really living.  So how do you get yourself out of this day to day funk and really start embracing all of the crazy beautiful mess of life going on around us?  Well, you start with the small stuff and as you add more positive vibes into your life the more amazing your life will become, not just fine or okay….AMAZING!

Each day that I get my butt out of bed I say thank you…just in general I am thankful to have that moment.  As I move through my morning routine I am thankful for everything, feeding my pets, watering my plants, making my coffee, brushing my teeth with running water, making my bed….there really is so much to be thankful for!  Taking time to be thankful is an easy way to start the positive vibes flowing.  Listening to positive music that gets you motivated and feeling good, meditation and prayer, watching something positive on TV or listening to a good audio book or pod cast are all excellent ways to help you stay in touch with your positive vibe.

When interacting with people it becomes harder to keep the positive flow.  Everything can be going along just fine at home in my own space with my cats and dog and plants, maybe even my daughter (who is basically a mini-me), but when we get out and about moods and reactions, thoughts and feelings….it can change quickly.  It is no secret that others moods can affect ours so if a co-worker is in a crappy mood they can quickly suck you in.  Be aware of these influences and avoid joining in on the complaining, excuses and gossip that plague some people on a daily basis.  If you can’t reroute the conversation to a more positive focus then just find a nice way to bow out.  If you do find yourself joining in a conversation that takes a negative turn never let it stay there.  If you admitted being frustrated or disliking something about a person, before walking away from the topic state a positive.  Never leave negative words hanging in the air.

Find joy in the simple things.  The sun is shining through the trees, there is a nice breeze blowing, there are pretty flowers blooming, the smell of coffee brewing, your cat still loves you….take time to fully take it all in and appreciate what the world has to offer.  So often we rush through life like its one big to-do list and we fail to stop and smell the roses.  You have to slow it down and savor the moments and in doing so this will create a greater appreciation for life in general.  Take time to pause and try to look at the world in different light.  Push yourself to see things through a child’s eyes….with curiosity and wonder.  Take pause in your day to be completely present, listen to the sounds surrounding you, how your body feels, the smells, tastes and really look around.  Take long deep breaths and ask yourself where you feel tense areas in your body.  Focus on breathing in to those areas and letting yourself relax.

When dealing with stressful moment in life it is sometimes hard to be thankful, not talk about the crap, or relax the tense areas in the body….it can just be a real struggle to find the positive.  Sometimes we want to wallow in the moment and fully feel the negative for a bit.  Don’t force yourself to try to be happy and positive in these moments.  Fully embrace it knowing it will be temporary.  It is good to fully experience the downs of life so we can fully appreciate the ups.  If the only positive you can take away in the moment is the feeling will eventually pass and the situation will eventually change, then that will be enough.

Just remember at the end of the day what you think about and speak about most is what you will see more of in your life.  So the more positive, loving and grateful you are the more positive, love and things to be grateful for will appear.  They say smile even if you don’t feel like it and the body and brain will naturally release a more positive vibe in the body.  So find reasons to be thankful and smile because it will get better.

With love, happiness, health and positive vibes to all of you,

Stacy

What Determines Your Belief System?

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In a world of many vastly different religious, political and countless other beliefs it is easy to get lost in all the controversy.  At any point you can turn on the TV and see everyone voicing their opinion on different causes, debating and demonstrating for or against something.  So at the end of the day how do you know what to believe?  How do you make a choice in it all and determine where you stand?  What causes are important to you and is anyone really right or wrong?  What are the deciding factors for you when you think about certain topics?

I asked myself this question and my upbringing and my grandmother kept coming to mind.  I thought about being told as a young person, before I say anything to ask myself if it is true, is it necessary and is it kind? When making decisions ask yourself is this decision a wise decision?  Not necessarily right or wrong but is it wise?  Based on your past experiences, current circumstances and future hopes and dreams what is the wise choice for you?  Everyone has their story, their reason for believing the way they do and each person would benefit from asking themselves if their reasons come from a good place or a place of selfishness, anger, hurt, betrayal, or pride (to name a few).  Sometimes people react in harsh ways because it is all they know, family environment, a past personal trauma, and even genetic trauma can be passed down for generations affecting how an individual reacts without the person being fully aware of why. When we really begin to unravel the stories of each person an understanding begins to unfold.  It isn’t just about who is right or wrong, but about the why…the wise decision for me may not be the wise decision for you in every situation.

We all have a responsibility to ourselves, those we share this world with and the generations after us to ask the hard questions of ourselves of why we choose to believe the way we do.  Those reason are a window into whether or not your belief system is coming from the right place.  Having emotional responsibility is just as important as any other type of responsibility in this world.  Understanding where your emotions are coming from, if they are hateful or loving, and why you feel the way you do, are all roads that lead to understanding yourself and your belief systems better.  The better we understand where it all comes from the better we understand how complicated and intricate each individuals belief system can be.  This can open our eyes and hearts to being better listeners when it comes to communicating our differences and not being so defensive and hateful when a disagreement occurs.  In the process of understanding you may even find that if your beliefs are based in negativity and maybe your perspective should be re-evaluated.  Allow yourself to explore, learn and grow give yourself grace as well as others.  Love and embrace the amazing variety the world has to offer, every story we can learn from, and every person has good and bad within…choose to love them anyway.

With peace, love and health

Stacy

Psychological Warfare

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Watching the news, reading social media feeds, and internet headlines, realizing some of my family and friends have drastically different views on politics, religion and many other values, morals, and beliefs is enough to make a person just want to crawl in a hole and cover it with a rock.  As I navigate my day as the office manager of a busy private practice counseling center while completing my master degree in mental health counseling and working weekends as a bartender at a busy restaurant and doing my best to be a good single mom to a teenage daughter, I can tell you one thing….I have learned how important it is to know where you stand.  I am a researcher, a naturally curious person and pretty open minded when it comes to new thoughts, ideas and theories in the beginning and will allow myself time to learn more before coming to my own conclusion.  In that time I will process the views of others and take it all into consideration as I continue my research.  I like to believe that most people approach new information this way, but I am realistic enough and have seen and heard enough in the practice of counseling to know its not true in all cases.

The fact is we all will see, read and encounter thoughts and ideas that challenge us to our core.  I believe that in every situation there is a choice, the choice is really simple, to look at it from a positive opportunity for growth or to allow it to turn negative.  When I say growth, I don’t mean accept and learn from the actual information in front of you necessarily, because the fact is sometimes we just know the information will never align with our belief systems and research would be an absolute waste of time.  What I mean by an opportunity for growth, even in those obvious situations where you know you will not change your mind, is how you choose to proceed in the situation, how you mentally choose to process and deal with it?  Everything we consume through our senses in daily life effects our body on a deeper level, not just the food and drink, not just the physical activity, but what we read, watch, listen to and write out.  So ask yourself, how good are you being to your mind, body and soul when you take all of that into consideration?

We often hear about parents protecting their children from bad influences of social media, too much screen time, keeping them away from bad influences of other kids and encouraging them to eat right, exercise and don’t do drugs or smoke or drink.  Don’t you find it a bit ironic how many of those things we decide to bring in to our own lives after preaching the opposite to our kids.  The truth is, all of those things do not just stop being bad for you once you become an adult.  We learn we can’t punch Tommy in the face and call him a stupid liar on the playground at school just because he said there is no Santa Claus.  Yet, too many times I see adults calling each other names on social media or the news.  What kind of examples are we setting for our kids?  I understand it is impossible to protect our children from everything and honestly I have no desire to protect my child from it all, how else will she learn?  I want to help guide her and learn what it all means and how to process it in a logical and healthy way.

Shit happens….we lose games, we make bad grades, you get a speeding ticket, or someone you like doesn’t like you back, a friend may talk about you behind your back, families break-up, you didn’t get the part in the play, you may not get accepted into the college of your dreams, you may not have enough money to have, do and see all the things you wish you could in life….you know what this is called?  Life and we are all in it together.  Life is full of choices, maybe you are not responsible for exactly where you are right now, but maybe your parents are, or your grandparents.  The truth is we are all the result of life before us and the big world keeps on turning and producing the next generation.  The point is, there will be a point when you do get to decide for yourself.  How we choose to see the world around us is so important but even more important is how you see yourself in the world around you.  If you had to describe yourself in ten words what words would you choose?  Are they positive and strong or angry and negative.  Do you look at the life dealt to you and fully embrace it and look for the opportunities to be and do better or do you wallow in it and make excuses and blame others?  The mental part of life is the toughest part of life, it will make you or break you.

Negativity is like a cancer, and recent studies show it is actually linked to diseases within the body.  When you are feeling ill you need to consider not only changing what you eat and drink or how often you exercise, but also what you are choosing to read and watch and listen to and how you respond to the world around you.  Create a psychological health habit just like you would habits for diet and exercise.  Don’t allow yourself to consume junk mentally and when it does cross your path, make a choice to process it from a healthier perspective.  It is a proven fact that stress is one of the leading causes of disease in the body and most stress is caused by how we respond to the world around us.  It is time for a little psychological warfare on the negative vibes being put out into the world.  You can give to the needy, work at a soup kitchen, volunteer for great causes, but if you really want to give back to the greater good teach yourself and your children how to accept life as a gift, tackle it with excitement and be thankful every day for the little things in life and most of all learn to respond with love and kindness.  If you are about to respond ask yourself three important questions…. Is it true?  Is it necessary?  Is it kind?

With love, health, happiness and positive mental health,

Stacy

Live High

Take a moment to ask yourself what kind of people you surround yourself with.  Do you look at your friends and co-workers and instantly feel like you are doing great in life because they are couch surfing, pay-check to pay-check, smoke it if you got it types?  If so then maybe you need to raise your standards.  If you are working to be better each day then surround yourself with people who will push you to be better.  People who have great jobs and are constantly educating themselves, growing, and learning through new projects and ideas.  People who have great relationships with equally awesome, motivational and inspirational people who take care of their bodies and minds by surrounding themselves with goodness.

What we consume mentally, physically, emotionally, nutritionally and socially are all part of our overall health.  If you are around negative people who feel they are stuck in a dead end job or relationship and constantly bitch and moan about it but never take action then maybe you should re-evaluate your friendships.  Surround yourself with doers not wishers.  You can be a person who sits on the couch drinking a six-pack and thumbing through a travel magazine talking about all the places you wish you could visit or you can create a plan on what it will cost to take that trip and go buy an awesome new set of luggage.

Live high with people who choose to actively progress up the ladder of success with words and actions.  Be with the people who talk about the great trips they are actually taking, not just the trips they wish they were taking.  Surround yourself with people who are actually writing the books, going back to school, showing up at the gym everyday and volunteering their time….not those that just talk about those things.  When you surround yourself with people who are living high on life they will automatically raise you up to their level.   Nobody wants to have to face a successful group of friends who are talking the talk and walking the walk everyday unless they are doing the same.  Raise your standards and surround yourself with those you aspire to be more like and in turn you will see your life change.

To living happy, healthy and high…

Stacy

 

Self-Talk and the 5 Second Rule

I would say that self-talk is probably the most important conversation a person can have in their day.  The phrases we repeat throughout the day can make a difference in every aspect of our lives.  Even the little half-humor/half-truth jokes we say out loud, like I am the forever single crazy cat lady.  If you constantly say out loud to yourself and others that you are forever only going to be in the company of your four-legged furry friends, well then, you probably will remain that way.  Even if you don’t really want to be the single cat lady and you are just making a joke about your current situation, it can be causing damage…mainly it will just continue to be your situation.

Sometimes we don’t realize the constant repeat cycle that goes on in our thoughts and consistently rolls out of our mouths out of habit.  This constant repeat cycle is no different than repeating a positive mantra.  If you say it enough your mind and body will start to believe it.  Be more self-aware of the thoughts and words you put out into the world and into your self image.  Replace those negative little jabs at yourself with something more positive and goal oriented.  If you truly want a guy in your life then stop making remarks about the world not having any good guys left.  If you truly want to lose weight then stop making food jokes about liking fitness…like fitness whole burger in my mouth!  Too often I see people use humor to hide something they feel bad about.  So don’t be afraid to get really honest with yourself and call yourself out on the bullshit.

This brings me to the second rule.  Sometimes we just talk too much to ourselves.  We talk or think about what we want, what we don’t want, what we should do or should stop doing….we can end up talking ourselves into and out of a lot of things instead of just acting upon it.  Mornings a great example for most people.  How often do you plan the night before to get up the next morning and be productive by doing a workout or meditating before you start your work day?  Then the next morning rolls around and you are all warm and cozy in your bed and the damn self-talk starts…I deserve a little sleep in, its only Monday and Mondays suck anyway, I have 6 more days in the week to workout, its cold and I don’t really feel good….Nope, nope and NOPE!  Don’t let this even get started.  It’s like your 7-year-old self has made a entrance into your adult life so when this kind of self-talk enters the picture you need to treat it just like the whiny little kid you are being and count to five and take action.

Each morning if you put the breaks on the self-talk and just hear the alarm, turn it off and immediately start moving…get out of bed, go pee(you know we all do that first), start the shower, as it warms up make your bed, then jump in that nice warm shower and wash that 7-year-old out of your head and jump out of that shower ready to tackle your day! Make a full on game plan for yourself the night before….have your workout clothes laid out by the bed your work clothes laid out in the bathroom and your breakfast and lunch prepped for the next day.  When you wake-up don’t think about other options…train yourself to believe that there are no other options.  Just jump out of bed and put on the work-out clothes and hit it.  As soon as you complete your workout shower and get ready for work, make your healthy planned breakfast, grab your lunch and before you know it you will be on your way to the office.  Creating habits is about routine and taking action each day in the same order.  Those first five seconds that you wake-up is about action, not thought.  You can create good or bad habits in this way.

How often do you get off work and immediately think of going for drinks and food at the local place with friends; or go home and get into comfy clothes and sit in front of the TV eating a snack even if you are not really hungry….we just do so many things out of habit.  So you have to take action and create new ones.  Find your triggers in the day and look for ways to change them.  If you get off work and automatically drive to the local hang-out, then change the drive route to the local park for a walk or to the gym for a quick work-out.  If your trigger is to go home after work and sit in front of the TV then change it to immediately grabbing the leash and taking your dog for a walk or grab a great book you have been wanting to start and go sit on the front porch.  The snack trigger is sitting in front of the TV so avoid that trigger by going somewhere else in the house.  I am big on creating a meditation space and when I feel the need to hit the reset button I go to my zone.

When we pay attention to our self-talk , take action and reroute our triggers for the day then we are on our way to a happier, healthier lifestyle.

With health, happiness, and positive action and self-talk,

Love Stacy

Perspective

If there is one thing I have learned in life it is that perspective is everything.  How you choose to apply situations and other peoples words and attitudes in any given moment can make or break you.  When a string of negative events occur, like you stub your toe on the way to the bathroom as soon as you get out of bed, then you spill your coffee in the car on the way to work…we can easily think “it’s going to be a craptastic day and I should go back to bed”.  The key is to not let 2 negative events ruin your whole day.  Just like you should refuse to allow one ‘Negative Nancy’ making a negative comment to you not ruin your day.  The attitude you take on in those moments will determine what comes your way next.  If you handle each moment with grace and humility, choosing not to let it get you down, then you will see a change for the better. How you choose to respond to life can change your life.

Don’t take it personal.  I cannot say this enough, especially to my teenage daughter!  Nothing in life is really a personal attack on you.  The universe or God is not trying to punish you for something when you have a bad day.  If you stub your toe and spill your coffee, maybe you are just meant to slow down and enjoy the morning and stop rushing through your day.  That is a lot better perspective than just assuming the whole day is ruined. Learning to find a positive spin in every situation is a great practice.  Being able to take what could be seen as a lemon of a day and turn it into lemonade can be very refreshing!

Don’t get stuck in other people’s thoughts and emotions about you.  Other people may lash out in anger or jealousy, maybe even guilt or shame, towards you at different points in your life.  It is good to take responsibility for your part, but understand the difference between owning your own mistakes and taking on others negativity.    You know where you stand on morals, values, beliefs, and if someone tries to label you it says more about who they are than it does you.  Let those words roll off like water and stand strong in knowing who you are.

Be more of a listener and observer than a talker.  God gave us two ears and two eyes and only one mouth.  I think that is because he wanted us to listen and observe more than he wanted us to run our mouth.  Your perspective of others can change when you listen and observe the world around you instead of just going through your day on auto-pilot.  Watch how others behave and the words they speak of others, this will give you a lot of insight into who the person really is.  This will also make you more aware of yourself and what you may be putting out into the world for others to hear and see about you.  People find it so easy to spew nasty comments on social media or through text messages instead of looking someone in the eye.  Many do not realize, these quick and often thoughtless comments say a lot about a person and can be more damaging to them than to the person they are talking to or about.

Practice Privacy.  I know at first this may seem like an odd suggestion when it comes to perspective but keeping your life private to some degree can create a different perspective for you and others.  When you are in a relationship with the love of your life I believe there is a special intimacy that should be kept just between the two of you.  You don’t need to share every detail to your friends or post every bouquet of flowers on social media.  This need to advertise our “perfect” life or relationship and create a perspective to others that we are always living the dream is exhausting.  When you share a special moment or a private joke with a parent, friend, or lover just keep it for yourself.    You don’t have to post every picture taken on your vacation to the Bahamas.  Keeping certain parts of your life sacred can create a tighter bond with those you are really sharing it with. When others do not know details of your relationships then they cannot have an input, which is sometimes a really good thing.  If you want authentic relationships then don’t advertise them and open yourself to the opinions of others.

You Are Flawed. I often ask myself what I can be doing better.  When I hear my boyfriend talk about his employees I find myself wondering if I do those positive or negative things he points out.  The truth is we all have room for improvement and we can all learn something from others.  You never want to think you are the best and the brightest in the room. There is a difference between confidence and being full of yourself.  If you always have to get the last word or always be right, if you need others to agree with you or you assume if they don’t they are wrong and they are stupid….well then you are most likely the one with the problem.  Be willing to really listen, put yourself in other peoples shoes and treat others how you want to be treated.  Everyone has a different story, all of us are unique and have reasons for why we think, feel and believe the way we do and no one is perfect.  Coming from a perspective of  an open heart as well as an open mind can be life changing.

With love, health and positive perspectives on life,

Stacy