Many times in life we focus on what is right in front of us, which may include things we don’t want for ourselves. We become so focused on the misery of the moment that we lose sight of the bigger picture. The desired goal seems so far away. This is when we must be self-aware and remind ourselves that we are focusing too much on the negative and we must back away from the whole situation. Control seems to be a big issue with many of my clients. They want to know who, when, what, where, and how things will happen or change for them. This is not always possible. Learning to accept things in the moment and find something to be grateful for, (even if very small) is the best way to change the flow. Just tipping the scale to the positive side just to 51% is all it takes.
If you ask for what you want and then just sit there tapping your foot getting frustrated that it isn’t happening you are not helping the situation. Ask it, believe it is done, and then go on about your day doing things that bring you joy and don’t think about it again. I admit this has been a struggle for me and I am actually going through this process in my life right now. I am learning to just accept and allow and not have it all figured out. I am learning that the more I look for ways to find joy in my day the better my life will flow in my desired direction. I do my best not to talk about negative relationships of my past when I discuss dating with my friends. I do my best to only think of the things I enjoyed about each person and how I would like to have those things in a future relationship. I look for things I love, things I enjoy, people I care about, things that make me laugh and smile, and I just surround myself with feelings of comfort. Some days this is easier than others but when things do get hard I find that counting my blessings, no matter how small, that can tip the scale in my favor. From running water and indoor plumbing to my daughter and my pets, I am grateful for many things in my life.
We must learn to ask and then allow. Not try to force it, figure it out, and control it, and beg and plead, just have faith and allow it to flow to you. I often use the visualization technique called leaves on a stream. I picture myself walking down a beautiful hiking path and coming upon a stream. The colorful fall leaves float down from the trees and land on the stream. As thoughts of negativity try to creep into my mind I lay them on the leaves and watch them float away getting smaller and smaller. This helps diffuse my mind from the negativity of the moment and allows me to make room in my mind for more important and positive thoughts. Its accepting the thoughts and not trying to stop them but allowing yourself to have the thought and understanding that our thoughts are not facts and they do not define us. Acceptance and allowing life to flow while being flexible with your thoughts and feelings takes practice but in time you will start to realize that we are often making it much harder than it needs to be.
When it comes to the power of positive thinking and attracting more positive things into your life you really should not have to work too hard at it. If you are self-aware then you can easily tip the scale of good versus bad in your favor. All it takes is 51% more positive thoughts in each day to start the turn-around process. Stop doubting, worrying, and looking for reasons why something will not work and start looking for the reasons it will! I have witnessed this process happen in my own life many times and I am finally starting to get better at keeping the scale tipped in my favor.
Everyone has good and bad days and the truth is you want to have those bad moments and bad days so that you can fully appreciate the good. Lessons and growth happen from those negative moments in life. However, the real art of allowing and acceptance is understanding those moments are temporary and not a place you plan to stay. In order to truly learn and grow from the negative there has to be movement beyond it and towards more positive alignment. The effort to move beyond is the processing of what did I learn and how can I do better? You add those nuggets of wisdom into your big bubble of knowledge, hopes, dreams and desires and keep moving forward.
Self-awareness and tipping the scale also comes in form of signs. I don’t believe in coincidence or random occurrences. I believe we are constantly attracting people, places, things, situations and experiences into our lives. Pay attention to little nudges that are the feeling of your gut or intuition guiding you on a certain path…you may be drawn to a certain book, or person, or place…listen to that inner guidance system and be open to the possibilities. I have been practicing this more and more in my life and the recent results have been almost surreal.
Finding true happiness is first within yourself. You must be happy with yourself and being alone in your own thoughts and feelings, but once you have accomplished the happiness within yourself then the alignment has already begun for everything else. You will then start to attract the desires outside of yourself as you keep in alignment with yourself. Its true in every aspect of life….when you have tended well to your job or career, your home, your relationships in life then you see growth radiate out further into bigger parts of your life. Start small and just work on yourself first and you will see big things begin to happen. All it takes is tipping that scale in the favor of positive thoughts and ideas more often throughout the day than any negative. Then watch the magic take over!
As we move through life and get older we often encounter relationships and experiences that leave a mark on us. Unfortunately, the marks left and most memorable seem to be the negative ones. Often we replay conversations in our heads and think about how we should have handled things differently or said something different in those moments or maybe you feel you should not have said anything and just walked away. Maybe you made bad choices and those stay in your mind overriding any good choices you might have made along the way. The truth is, we are all our own worst critic and we tend to be much harder on ourselves than anyone else would be.
Holding on to those negative experiences and choices from the past and replaying them in your head only builds the negativity within your mind, body, and soul and can only lead to increased stress and even illness. It is important to find a way to accept the past for what it is, take away any lesson or growth opportunity that you can apply in the future and fully let go of all the other nonsense that plays on repeat. Holding on to past negativity can poison your future if you hold on to it, especially if you take the negativity from old relationships into your new ones. This is why it is so important to give yourself time to grieve and heal from a broken relationship before moving on to a new one.
Letting go is a conscious choice and not always an easy one. Ruminating over past incidents that may have hurt or angered you is part of the healing process in order for your mind to try and make sense of the pain you are feeling. After a period of time the ruminating no longer serves as part of the healing process and becomes unhealthy. Letting go is necessary and requires just admitting to yourself that you may never fully understand why things happened the way they did. You may never understand the mind of another person and trying to will only create more struggle and hurt. Each day is a new day and a chance to choose differently about how you feel and what you choose to think about. Why choose negativity when you can choose something positive?
Science has shown where you focus in the mind is what will manifest in your life. Here are some ways to shift from the negative to a more positive thought process…
Write your new story focusing on how you want things to be when you are living your best life.
Create a vision board on Pinterest of all the things you love and places you want to travel.
Make a goals list of long and short term goals.
Create a focus wheel.
Write a list of positive affirmations.
Go for a walk or hike in nature.
Spend time with your pets.
Take a yoga class that involves meditation.
Invite friends to breakfast instead of dinner to start your day positive.
Learn to cook something new.
Get a massage.
Take a bubble bath while listening to a positive audio book or pod cast.
Plan a trip, even if its just a weekend road trip.
Go to your place of spiritual connection, church, or nature…wherever you feel most connected to God or your source of love.
Smile more throughout your day and be nice to strangers you encounter.
Learn something new or start a new hobby.
These are just a few things that can inspire and motivate to stay in a positive frame of mind and not get stuck on that hamster wheel of negative thinking. I have practiced enough I will only speak positive over the people who have hurt me in my past if they come up in conversation. I refuse to relive that part of my life and I sincerely pray for them to find a better way of living as well. The laws of the universe will only bring those negative thoughts, words, or feelings back around to you eventually anyway. So train yourself to choose to look for the positive and focus there, research shows, just 17 seconds of focus on something positive can shift your whole day. If you start making a habit to catch yourself when your words, thoughts, or actions are becoming negative you can make a shift. Move yourself to a positive exercise or just go general if being positive seems too frustrating in the moment. Pause and allow yourself to become hyper aware of your surroundings and how your body feels, what thoughts are flowing through your mind? Self-awareness is the key to changing the negative thought patterns and refocusing on the positive. It takes practice but it will be life changing.
I have been practicing the art of positive thinking in my life for many years now. Whenever I feel negativity coming in to my thoughts I try to re-route myself to a more positive mind set. Some days this is easier said than done. I have made a conscious effort in a recent situation and even though I found myself confiding to a few friends and family I always tried to end my conversation about the situation on a positive note. I would try and put myself in the other persons shoes and be more understanding and less confrontational. This approach really seemed to pay off and my desires that I meditated upon are coming true for this particular situation. This moment of truth was very needed for me.
I had begun to feel this sense of doubt in my methods. Like maybe by always keeping my thoughts and opinions to myself and choosing to say nothing in return to the rude person in my life that I was allowing this person to walk on me. I started to wonder if maybe it was possible that I was simply being too nice. My efforts to be the bigger person and not let this person get to me was starting to weigh on me and I chose to just not put myself around them and just pray on the situation. I knew that there were certain things that needed to happen in order for this situation to take a turn in my favor. I ignored those fleeting doubtful thoughts and pushed on through with my positive attitude and it has started to turn the situation pretty quickly. So quickly in fact that I not only started to feel more hopeful about this situation but I also received the confirmation that I needed to know that my process was working.
One of the main rules in the law of attraction is to focus on the things you want in life, not the things you don’t want. It is easy to dwell on the extra weight you have gained or the extra debt but how often do you really focus on the good in your world? Maybe you gained ten or fifteen extra pounds because you have been spending more time sitting down and eating with the family instead of always being on the run. Maybe you have more debt from hospital bills for a procedure that saved a love ones life. There is always a way to spin what seems like a negative in to a positive. Once you are able to take a different perspective on each situation you will begin to become more appreciative for everything in life. When we are thankful and focus on the positives the law of attraction will respond by giving us more of what we are thankful for and more of the positive that we focus on.
If you are struggling to find something in your life to be grateful about then go simple…be thankful for a roof over your head or clean water to drink. Being more aware of your thoughts and catching yourself when your mind starts to drift to a negative place is a practice. I have found that my ability to do this has become better with my meditation and yoga practices. Sitting in silence in the morning focusing on my day and how I would like for it to go and beginning my day listing a few things that I am thankful for has completely changed my life. Your mind will try to relive conversations or situations that have frustrated you and by reliving that frustration in your mind and going over what you wish you would have said or done differently you are only attracting more of those types of situations into your life. Find the positive in those moments by learning from them and doing better in the future instead of reliving the past.