Many of us have to work hard to be patient in life. This is a world of instant gratification and long bucket lists of things people want to see, do, and have. Often, people go through dating a few people and may find a person they are with for a few years and then once that relationship ends they move on, and they still have expectations they cling to. This often happens when we are older and more clear on what we are looking for. It is important to remember that each new person is a whole new process and you must start from the very beginning. Just because you may have been further along in your mindset with the last person doesn’t mean you get to start at that point with the next person. You have to hit the reset button and not rush in to things. Rebounds and moving too soon can get people into complicated situations that are not only frustrating but can be hurtful. It takes time to really know a person authentically.
If you are separated but not divorced, or in the process of a divorce, or maybe you are just discussing divorce and unhappy in your relationship/marriage…please do the world a favor and finish that before you try to date. If you cannot fully be present with the person you are trying to date because of loose ends in another relationship then you are basically being selfish. It takes a strong individual to push aside their own wants and needs and do things right, but isn’t that the whole point? End the unhappiness you are currently in and realign so that you can do better. The point is to admit you are outgrowing the current relationship, learn from it, and resolve to move forward making wiser decisions.
I do believe you can have chemistry very quickly and a chemical reaction like lust can feel so strong that you lose logic. When someone is hurting from a recent break they long to find those things they have been missing. This can cause a person to latch on to aspects of a person without fully taking the time to know all of them. Sometimes it isn’t physical, it can be more of a mental connection that draws you in. The goal is to get to know every aspect of the person and this takes time and patience. Physical aspects of a relationship can happen fast leaving us to navigate deeper conversations later and that is not always a bad thing. If the physical chemistry is fantastic then you have something to build on. Obviously, sex isn’t everything but it is an important part of a healthy relationship.
Good relationships are built on a good foundation. It takes time to establish trust, support, respect, understanding, teamwork, friendship, and mutual goals with another person. You can’t jump in all willy-nilly judging someone from your own past or what you get at face value. You have to get to know them and their own story to fully understand if the potential for a future is there. Enjoy the process by having fun with the occasional calls, texts, dates, and other adventures and you will begin to see their true colors in a few months time, if not sooner! Patience is most definitely a virtue when it comes to dating!
With love, health, and happiness
Today I am thinking about what it is like to live in all or nothing world. A world where we want to make thing happen now. Instant is the key to everything lately.. but is it really better? I have found that what is gained easily is not appreciated enough and often lost just as easily. In the past I have said that I am going to accomplish something, like lose a few pounds, and I have a tendency to be really strict with myself for a week or two then I slack off. The problem is I am looking at the end result. I am trying to accomplish the goal as quickly as possible with an all or nothing attitude. I have learned that the real practice is in the everyday, little choices we make. If we break things down in to smaller steps, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute…then we are more likely to make wiser choices.
If you make a bad choice in the morning it doesn’t mean that your day is already ruined so just keep making the same bad choices. If you are falling down the stairs you don’t shrug and say…might as well keep falling…you try and stop the fall! Every wise choice made adds up. Every minute of exercise instead of sitting on the couch, every sip of water instead of a soda, every positive thought…they all add up! Those baby steps in life are what eventually add up to making a really rewarding life. We usually don’t become a drug addict, obese, or cheat overnight….there are little choices made over and over that lead us to those results. Those repeated bad choices add up to being an addict or obese or cheating on someone you love, or any of the other many bad situations in life. Every day we are faced with thousands of little choices that map out what the future may hold for us. The choices we are making right now, in this very moment, are what will shape our future.
What are you thinking right now? Are you being a positive person today? Are you being thankful for what you have and where you are in life? Are you being helpful and kind to those around you? Have you let those you love know it? Every day we should strive to be the best we can be and it all starts with the little things. Choose to read books or have relationships that teach you something and add to your life in a positive way. Are the people, places, things, activities that you surround yourself with making your life better or do you feel stressed, sick, and tired? Those people, places and things are not to blame…YOU are. Take responsibility for your choices and if you are not happy, then have the courage to make the changes necessary to get where you want to be in life. It is okay to love a friend dearly but admit that you have outgrown them. You don’t owe anybody anything in life and if they make you believe you do then they are not good for you. Life is about growth and learning and helping others learn and grow as well. A good relationship will encourage you to grow to your highest level even if it means moving on from them.
I would like to introduce you to a very wise man that I often listen to and he gives great perspective on many things in life…Jay Shetty. If you have a chance please follow him on YouTube. He will open your eyes to a wonderful way of thinking. The following video relates to my post today…ENJOY!
With love, health, and happiness