Can You Have It All?

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It is possible to have it all but usually it doesn’t happen all at once.  There is a method to how it all falls into place and most of the time you won’t see the plan until after it has been executed.  Looking back on my life I can easily see how certain situations and people were meant to come to me at a certain time in my life.  If they had come sooner or later, I would not have learned the lessons and grown from the experience in the same way.  We all have our own path and we all have our own unique desires and goals.

When I think about the idea of having it all I realize my idea of a joyful and fulfilling life may not be the same as the next person.  My ultimate dream is to finish my degree and eventually be my own boss so that I can have the freedom to work and travel on my own terms.  I have also always dreamed of having a loving partner with a passion to do the same.  Work hard and still have wonderful experiences in travel and share the dream as a team, supporting each other in our goals and passions.  I want to pursue my writing and even possibly do some public speaking on topics that promote ideas and strategies for people to live happier, productive and more fulfilling lives.  These dreams are going to take some time to develop for many reasons, I realize I have to learn and grow in some areas first and I also realize I have to heal and trust after past experiences.

It always comes back to a question I often repeat to myself, based on my past experiences, my current circumstances and my future hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing for me to do?  The wise thing is to recognize when a good thing presents itself but don’t lose focus of the bigger picture.  Remember the lessons from the past and the boundaries you created to protect yourself moving forward.  Keeping all of that in mind you can also let go of the need to control every little detail and enjoy the process.  It is possible to do well in your education and career while developing a new relationship, getting in the best shape of your life and remodeling your house.  It is also possible to create real and serious plans for the future if you suddenly find yourself walking on a more solid path with like minded people.

I admit that I look at my path now compared to this time last year and my path is much more clear and defined.  So much can change in one year!  I see greater potential for the things I have always wanted.  I am happier because I have gained clarity.  I know I am capable of accomplishing everything I want and having it all.  Things are falling into place at just the right pace.  I don’t have to force it, just simply enjoy the process.  You don’t want to have it all, all at once.  You want to feel and see it all develop.  It will fall into place like a puzzle, each piece developing in its own time but all meant to add to the bigger picture.  School is moving right along and I am learning more and more with my job every day.  I have steadily been investing in little home projects and working on improving my diet and increasing my exercise.  Reading books and putting into practice skills for improving my productivity, efficiency, and the joy in all areas of my life.

With all of this focus on self-improvement I have allowed myself to set the relationship aspect of my life on the back burner.  However, it was still a very important part to my bigger picture plan and would be a big part of finally having it all.  As I have started to feel more confident in those areas of my life I have naturally attracted the potential partner and relationship, the timing is really quite amazing.  When you let law of attraction and God take control and stop trying to figure out the when, where, how, who or why of what you want amazing things start to happen.   Don’t force it, just let it come naturally and the world becomes magic.  Don’t question it and don’t worry about it anymore.  Trust and believe that it is already in process and that you can and will have it all, just not all at once.  Because we are meant to enjoy the process and be in the moment, we appreciate it more when we can look back and see how it all fell into place. In that reflection we can often find meaning in those little steps along the way.  The beauty of life is in all those little details, don’t become so focused on the destination that you forget to enjoy the road trip on the way to having it all!

With love, health, and happiness,

Stacy

A Positive Way to Let Go

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As we move through life and get older we often encounter relationships and experiences that leave a mark on us.  Unfortunately, the marks left and most memorable seem to be the negative ones.  Often we replay conversations in our heads and think about how we should have handled things differently or said something different in those moments or maybe you feel you should not have said anything and just walked away.  Maybe you made bad choices and those stay in your mind overriding any good choices you might have made along the way.  The truth is, we are all our own worst critic and we tend to be much harder on ourselves than anyone else would be.

Holding on to those negative experiences and choices from the past and replaying them in your head only builds the negativity within your mind, body, and soul and can only lead to increased stress and even illness.  It is important to find a way to accept the past for what it is, take away any lesson or growth opportunity that you can apply in the future and fully let go of all the other nonsense that plays on repeat.  Holding on to past negativity can poison your future if you hold on to it, especially if you take the negativity from old relationships into your new ones.  This is why it is so important to give yourself time to grieve and heal from a broken relationship before moving on to a new one.

Letting go is a conscious choice and not always an easy one.  Ruminating over past incidents that may have hurt or angered you is part of the healing process in order for your mind to try and make sense of the pain you are feeling.  After a period of time the ruminating no longer serves as part of the healing process and becomes unhealthy.  Letting go is necessary and requires just admitting to yourself that you may never fully understand why things happened the way they did.  You may never understand the mind of another person and trying to will only create more struggle and hurt.  Each day is a new day and a chance to choose differently about how you feel and what you choose to think about.  Why choose negativity when you can choose something positive?

Science has shown where you focus in the mind is what will manifest in your life. Here are some ways to shift from the negative to a more positive thought process…

  • Write your new story focusing on how you want things to be when you are living your best life.
  • Create a vision board on Pinterest of all the things you love and places you want to travel.
  • Make a goals list of long and short term goals.
  • Create a focus wheel.
  • Write a list of positive affirmations.
  • Go for a walk or hike in nature.
  • Spend time with your pets.
  • Take a yoga class that involves meditation.
  • Invite friends to breakfast instead of dinner to start your day positive.
  • Learn to cook something new.
  • Get a massage.
  • Take a bubble bath while listening to a positive audio book or pod cast.
  • Plan a trip, even if its just a weekend road trip.
  • Go to your place of spiritual connection, church, or nature…wherever you feel most connected to God or your source of love.
  • Smile more throughout your day and be nice to strangers you encounter.
  • Learn something new or start a new hobby.

These are just a few things that can inspire and motivate to stay in a positive frame of mind and not get stuck on that hamster wheel of negative thinking.  I have practiced enough I will only speak positive over the people who have hurt me in my past if they come up in conversation.  I refuse to relive that part of my life and I sincerely pray for them to find a better way of living as well.  The laws of the universe will only bring those negative thoughts, words, or feelings back around to you eventually anyway.  So train yourself to choose to look for the positive and focus there, research shows, just 17 seconds of focus on something positive can shift your whole day.  If you start making a habit to catch yourself when your words, thoughts, or actions are becoming negative you can make a shift.  Move yourself to a positive exercise or just go general if being positive seems too frustrating in the moment.  Pause and allow yourself to become hyper aware of your surroundings and how your body feels, what thoughts are flowing through your mind?  Self-awareness is the key to changing the negative thought patterns and refocusing on the positive. It takes practice but it will be life changing.

With love, health, happiness,

Stacy

 

Finding Peace

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True peace is different for all of us but there is no doubt the feeling is often the same.  Those moments in life when everything just seems to finally slow down and you feel calm in your mind, body, and soul.  Watching a beautiful sunset while sitting on the beach can be one of those peaceful and awe-inspiring moments in life.  I usually feel it with moments in nature but I have also come to appreciate a different kind of peace.  This new sense of peace has come from acceptance and fully embracing the present moment no matter where I am and what I am doing.

I have tried to make it a practice to list things I am thankful for in my life, to listen to audiobooks and podcasts that motivate me and help me create more positive habits in my life.  I try to eat healthy, stay active, make time for friends and family, work hard at improving myself in my education and career and also work in time for personal self-care.  I devote my time and money to paying off my debts, investing in my home and personal growth and all of these efforts are starting to show positive results in my life.

In life we often get so busy trying to make time for all of these goals and different areas of our lives that we end up not fully appreciating the moments when we are in them.  We may be in the car only partially listening to the audiobook or podcast.  We may be spending time with friends or family and thinking about something else we should be doing at home, work, or in school.  These distractions away from the present moment will keep our minds and bodies in a constant state of stress.  Always wanting to be somewhere else, or at least thinking we need to be.  Always feeling we need to be working towards something or doing something creates a feeling of pressure within us that we are never doing or being enough.

Basically, our minds, bodies and souls are never really in a state of peace.  Those little window moments of actual peace become few and far between and are usually only inspired when we encounter some place new, like on a vacation or during a special occasion.  Now is a time to start making a shift in our lives.  This shift can already been seen in the fact that yoga and meditation are becoming more popular and mindfulness techniques are even being taught to school children.  This shift is needed in order for our chaotic world to start finding more peace.  When in a moment of doing anything, even as simple as petting your cat or washing your hands, allow yourself to just stop the incessant thinking and allow yourself to be. Take in all the sensory perceptions around you in the moment and allow peace and joy to just sweep over you.

You do not have to be in the majestic mountains or standing on the beach overlooking the vast ocean in order to find peace each day.  The simplicity of watching leaves fall from the trees outside your kitchen window as you wash the dishes and smell the coffee brewing in the morning can be just as beautiful and calming.  Watching your children or a pet sleep while sitting quietly, reading a book can be a point of peace.  Over-thinking, over-analyzing and basically, over-doing anything is just not good for the mind, body, or soul.  Allow yourself to fully accept where you are in this moment and fully embrace it.  Find peace in where you are and who you are without any thought to what was, or what will be, what should, could or would be…Just smile and know this is the only time that matters and you can let the rest of it go.  You will find in the simple act of letting it all go is the true path to peace.

With love, health, and happiness,

Stacy

Fall, A Time For Change

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Fall is my favorite time of year and I believe it is for many.  I have always loved Halloween and Thanksgiving as well as the cozy atmosphere that comes with the crisp fall weather.  The bonfires with friends, great foods like a big pot of chili or soup simmering on the stove and taking road trips to see the beautiful changing leaves.  I have my porch decorated with mums and pumpkins and my Halloween pillows placed in my rocking chairs.  I have my candles with the great scents of apple pie, pumpkin spice and cider throughout the house.  I also remind myself that we are winding up another year and October is part of the last ninety days of 2019.  With this in mind I reflect on the process mother nature has started in the final days of the year and I try to follow in her example.

Like the trees shedding their leaves I believe Fall is a time of letting go.  I ask myself what is important for me to accomplish at the end of this year.  It may simply cleaning out closets or as a big as re-evaluating relationships.  Maybe it is time to let go of old dreams that may not suit us anymore and try focusing on new ones.  If you have had struggles in relationships it could be time to face them before the holidays.  The end of a year is just as important as the New Years Resolutions we all consider at the beginning of the year, maybe more so.   Making peace with yourself and others, creating a sense of love and family through the holidays and letting go of any negativity is a great practice at the end of the year.

We all live very busy lives and it is easy to forget what we are doing it all for.  The careers, the homes, the cars, education, the diets and exercise, running our kids to all the special events…It is easy to just get caught on the hamster wheel of life and forget to stop and take it all in.  Take the next few months to really appreciate all the hard work and accomplishment you have achieved throughout the year so far.  Slow down a little and enjoy where you are in this present moment and let go of any negative thoughts or feelings that are not serving you.  Sometimes we realize the goals and dreams we had at the beginning of a year are not the same at the end.  It is okay to change your mind, just like the changing colors of the leaves.

As I complete my mid-terms this week I will be leaving on a little trip to Gatlinburg, Tennessee to spend time with the guy in my life.  We went through a break-up earlier this year and I am unsure what the future may hold for us.  As I pack and prepare I am happy and excited and no longer have the need to have all the answers.  I will enjoy this time and completely be in the moment.  I know the universe and God are putting everything in alignment and as long as I am finding the joy in each day I will come together with exactly what I desire. Don’t worry about the past or the future, just allow yourself to let all that worry go and enjoy the process, just like the natural process of the seasons changing.

With love, health, happiness and letting go for positive change,

Stacy

Chill-Out & Let It Be!

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I have blogged about acceptance in the past and I strongly feel that acceptance is one of the greatest keys to happiness.  I believe that we are all living life and having experiences and through those experiences, (whether we know it or not), we are choosing what we want and don’t want in our lives.  With each job you have, each relationship you have, every place you travel….you are figuring out who you are and what you want most in life.  Sometimes there are things in our lives that come along that we may want really badly and it scares us because we want it so bad.  In this moment we begin to focus more on the fear of what we don’t want instead of keeping the focus on what we do want.

Often in these times of desire we may create positive visualizations and meditate, focusing on the desire, but the belief inside of us is still in conflict, it doesn’t feel achievable for some reason.  In these moments you have to walk away from the focus because your just not ready to believe it yet.  Maybe you feel it’s too good to be true because of past experiences.  Maybe you are over-analyzing because you just can’t see how it can be done.  Or maybe someone says or does something that just puts doubt in your mind.  Whatever it is that is blocking you from believing that it is already done has to be ignored and you have to find a way to just get yourself back in the mindset of knowing.

In this time I like to refer myself back to areas of my life where I have strong faith and create that sense of gratitude within my soul.  People who love and support you, a home, your car, running water, air conditioning, clothes & shoes, food, a job, your pets, coffee…whatever you can think of spend the day being thankful for all of it.  Don’t let your mind wander back to the doubt, worry, and frustration of what you want but can’t seem to get.  You must chill-out and let it be. Sometimes it helps to have a real life example so here is my situation.

Currently my relationship is in a weird place because my boyfriend of four years and I have broke-up.  There is this strong love between us and nothing awful really happened to end the relationship so something just feels off within me.  I have this longing for more of a connection & passion in the relationship and he has great fear of  fully letting down his walls and letting someone in and so this challenge has lead to our separation. Space and time is needed to re-evaluate the relationship and strong feelings from all directions are whirling within me and I am sure within him as well.  It is easy to create stories of doubt, worry, and betrayal when you suddenly stop contact and just allow yourself to be without another person.  On the other hand you feel something deeper within your soul that just connected you to this other being for years.  There are two ends of the spectrum and you have to accept the possibility of both outcomes.  The space will either create a greater desire and a longing that was not realized before or the space will make it clear that it is time to let go and move on.

Put your desire out into the universe through prayers and meditation and then chill-out and let it be.  Don’t try to control the situation or force it.  The desire has been put into your heart and God knows where you stand.  Yes, this is easier said than done but remain positive and understand that what is best for both hearts involved will happen.  Rest in peace knowing and have faith in the fact that whatever is in your best interest will naturally flow to you without you taking action.  If you truly love them sometimes you have to be willing to let them go, sometimes they return and sometimes they don’t.  Being happy within yourself is the key to really being able to do this.  Your happiness and self worth does not lie within the other person.  If they don’t choose to be with you it doesn’t really have anything to do with you, even if they say it does.  Being with another person in a long term, committed relationship is a choice that is made by both people every day.  Its not a spark, or some unspoken magic that is created.  It may feel like a spark and strong magical desire in the beginning but we all know at the end of the day its about choices.  I want someone who wakes up each day and continues to choose me.

If you are struggling with wanting something in your heart and the desire is so big that worry and doubt begin to creep in you have to back off from it.  I find that distracting myself with exercise, meditation, going out with friends, or hobbies are great ways to avoid the downward spiral.  Just be careful talking to some friends and getting into a conversation that over-analyzes a situation.  The book, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus speaks strongly to this difference in men and women in this aspect.  Men turn within themselves, go into a cave in a sense when they need space to think about heavy subjects.  Women like to talk it out and sometimes we tend to talk it to death.  As I always say, balance is key; talk to your supportive people to get some relief and perspective on the situation and then allow yourself to chill out and let it be.

Patience and time are important but maintaining that sense of complete faith and positive vibes are equally important.  So if thinking about that particular situation does not bring joy in the moment, allow yourself to let it go and focus on something that does.  It doesn’t mean you don’t care, actually quite the opposite.   It means you trust that the best will happen without you interfering in the process.  Complete acceptance.

With love, happiness, health and acceptance,

Stacy