Can You Have It All?

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It is possible to have it all but usually it doesn’t happen all at once.  There is a method to how it all falls into place and most of the time you won’t see the plan until after it has been executed.  Looking back on my life I can easily see how certain situations and people were meant to come to me at a certain time in my life.  If they had come sooner or later, I would not have learned the lessons and grown from the experience in the same way.  We all have our own path and we all have our own unique desires and goals.

When I think about the idea of having it all I realize my idea of a joyful and fulfilling life may not be the same as the next person.  My ultimate dream is to finish my degree and eventually be my own boss so that I can have the freedom to work and travel on my own terms.  I have also always dreamed of having a loving partner with a passion to do the same.  Work hard and still have wonderful experiences in travel and share the dream as a team, supporting each other in our goals and passions.  I want to pursue my writing and even possibly do some public speaking on topics that promote ideas and strategies for people to live happier, productive and more fulfilling lives.  These dreams are going to take some time to develop for many reasons, I realize I have to learn and grow in some areas first and I also realize I have to heal and trust after past experiences.

It always comes back to a question I often repeat to myself, based on my past experiences, my current circumstances and my future hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing for me to do?  The wise thing is to recognize when a good thing presents itself but don’t lose focus of the bigger picture.  Remember the lessons from the past and the boundaries you created to protect yourself moving forward.  Keeping all of that in mind you can also let go of the need to control every little detail and enjoy the process.  It is possible to do well in your education and career while developing a new relationship, getting in the best shape of your life and remodeling your house.  It is also possible to create real and serious plans for the future if you suddenly find yourself walking on a more solid path with like minded people.

I admit that I look at my path now compared to this time last year and my path is much more clear and defined.  So much can change in one year!  I see greater potential for the things I have always wanted.  I am happier because I have gained clarity.  I know I am capable of accomplishing everything I want and having it all.  Things are falling into place at just the right pace.  I don’t have to force it, just simply enjoy the process.  You don’t want to have it all, all at once.  You want to feel and see it all develop.  It will fall into place like a puzzle, each piece developing in its own time but all meant to add to the bigger picture.  School is moving right along and I am learning more and more with my job every day.  I have steadily been investing in little home projects and working on improving my diet and increasing my exercise.  Reading books and putting into practice skills for improving my productivity, efficiency, and the joy in all areas of my life.

With all of this focus on self-improvement I have allowed myself to set the relationship aspect of my life on the back burner.  However, it was still a very important part to my bigger picture plan and would be a big part of finally having it all.  As I have started to feel more confident in those areas of my life I have naturally attracted the potential partner and relationship, the timing is really quite amazing.  When you let law of attraction and God take control and stop trying to figure out the when, where, how, who or why of what you want amazing things start to happen.   Don’t force it, just let it come naturally and the world becomes magic.  Don’t question it and don’t worry about it anymore.  Trust and believe that it is already in process and that you can and will have it all, just not all at once.  Because we are meant to enjoy the process and be in the moment, we appreciate it more when we can look back and see how it all fell into place. In that reflection we can often find meaning in those little steps along the way.  The beauty of life is in all those little details, don’t become so focused on the destination that you forget to enjoy the road trip on the way to having it all!

With love, health, and happiness,

Stacy

How Are You?

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Really how are you today?  As you read this how do you feel, mentally, physically, emotionally?  Are you taking care of yourself and living with purpose or are you just going through the motions like a hamster on a wheel?  Maybe it is time to take inventory and see how you line up.  As we move through life we may hit points where we lose focus and start to think…what am I doing and what is all of this really for?  Am I even happy with the life I have created?  Is this 9-5 office job really worth it or, if I am being really honest with myself, would I be happier just selling flip-flops from a hut on the beach?

Often, we go through stages in life trying to keep up with what others expect.  The social norms of college or a trade school, landing the great job, building a career with good benefits and a nice retirement plan, buying a home, marriage, kids, a dog, a nice car and a couple of nice vacations a year is pretty close to the American dream.  However, I have noticed the American dream is drastically beginning to take on a new meaning over the years.  With non-traditional family units, many people waiting longer to get married and have children, blended families, and more and more people simply opting to stay single and not have children and the career field becoming bigger and broader with opportunities and capabilities only limited by a persons imagination.  This is an exciting time in life, but it can also be a bit overwhelming.  That is why it is so important to know yourself.

If you find yourself overwhelmed and unsure, just going through the motions then, most likely you have lost sight of yourself.  The best way to stay on track in this busy, high paced world is to understand who you are, what you want, and what brings you joy.  If you have these three things figured out then the rest falls into place pretty easily.  Knowing who you are, your morals, values, beliefs, are essential to knowing where you stand in each path you take and situations that may arise.  Knowing who you are will be based on past experiences, current circumstances, and future hopes and dreams and will help you make wise choices that are best for you….not anyone else but you.

Knowing what you want in life is also vitally important when asking yourself if you are doing okay.  Not what your parents want, or your partner, or what anyone else in your life thinks you should want, but what do YOU want?  If it is just a simple life selling flip-flops on the beach, then great!  If you want to finish your education, build a home, have a baby, adopt a puppy, write a book, become a life coach, start a podcast, or travel to Europe….figure out the things that inspire you in life and don’t let your fear of what others may think hold you back.  Once you know yourself and what you want then you must seek what brings you joy.

The process of sticking to the type of person you want to be, and truly knowing who you are in character, morals, values, and beliefs is the best place to start.  Then knowing what you want in life is the key to setting yourself on the right path, look for signs that point you in the right direction through books, people, places, situations and opportunities that may present themselves once you become more clear on what you want.  Finally, just relax and enjoy the process.  Don’t overthink it, stress about the details of how, when and why.  Just enjoy each moment as your story unfolds.  Be true to yourself, have your eye on the prize and then have faith that it will all work out as long as you stay positive and continue to find joy in the activities of daily life.

I find it is good to re-evaluate regularly, especially when life is super busy with many distractions.  Ground yourself in a practice of reminding yourself the type person you want to be and what it is really all about for you at the end of each day.  Then remember to focus on the positive and live in the moment.  Don’t become so focused on the end game that you forget to really enjoy the process because the beauty of life really is in the details.

With love, health, and happiness,

Stacy

Believe It & Receive It.

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Law of attraction is something either you believe in or roll your eyes at…but much like gravity, it doesn’t matter if you believe or not because it is still constantly at work.  I have had a long and slow process with getting to know, understand and fully appreciate the law of attraction.  I would have to say at this point, my ability to manifest my desires is becoming much more streamlined.  I used to feel all over the place when trying to attract my desires and the problem with that whole sentence is the word “trying”.  Manifesting what we want in life through the law of attraction should not involve effort of any kind.

I have encountered people who say law of attraction goes against God and its witchcraft or magical thinking, and to those naysayers I simply say…you need to study more because you obviously do not understand.  Without a doubt there is a God.  I do not believe all you beautiful people exist without purpose.  I could not be a good counselor if I didn’t believe in some higher power or meaning to life.  I have studied the Tao, Buddhist books, the Bible,  Rumi, Plato, Sacrates, Eckhart Tolle, Rhonda Byrne, Carl Rogers, Carl Jung, Wayne Dyer, Abraham Hicks and many other great thinkers, writers, speakers, philosophers,  and psychologists throughout history.  This mixture of information has allowed me to form my own thoughts, beliefs and opinions on life, but it all really comes back to allowing, acceptance, joy and most importantly… love.

When you desire something you must understand it is already yours and believe it without doubt.  Basically, you have to believe it to receive it.  If you are feeling doubt and can’t shake it then you need to think about something else that you have no doubt about.  It can be anything you are sure of…like the love of your dog.  Look at your dog and see him or her look at you with those big loving eyes wagging that tail that makes their whole body sway and feel the full joy in your heart of knowing without a doubt that fur baby loves you and stay in that moment as long as you can.  Find things like that all day long that keep you feeling the consistent love and joy to your core.  The more you stay in that place of love the more you remain in the place of receiving, or what I like to call manifesting and some of you who listen to Abraham Hicks know as the vortex.

Recently I have really taken my ability to focus on the positive and get into the vortex to a whole new level and the results have been amazing.  I struggle some days more than others but, like anything, the more you practice the better you get.  I highly recommend if you are new to the idea of the law of attraction and manifesting that you listen to some free YouTube videos of Abraham Hicks, or watch The Secret on Netflix.  I also love the audio book The Power when I feel the need to reset my mind in a positive direction and there is a free movie called The Shift with Dr. Wayne Dyer that really opens your mind to a more positive way of thinking.

Another great way to really bring great things you desire into your life faster is to constantly give thanks to God for all you have, from the electricity and running water in your home to the ability to see, taste, feel and touch with your body.  I say thank you hundreds of times a day.  Being grateful and counting your blessings brings more of what you are grateful for.  I highly encourage you to avoid thinking or talking about negative things you dislike or do not want in your life and avoid gossip as well because law of attraction does not just work to attract good things into your life, it can also attract the bad.  What we think, feel, and say most is what we will continue to have in our lives.  How we treat others and speak to others also comes back to us in life so treat others how you want to be treated.  The law of attraction is always at work.

With love, happiness, health and positive thoughts coming your way,

Stacy

 

 

Never Enough

Has the words “never enough” played through your mind before?  Do you constantly find things about yourself or your life that you want to improve upon?  At what point does a healthy drive for self-improvement turn in to something defeating and negative?  I am a weird mix of a dreamer and a doer so even though I pursue bigger goals for myself constantly, I also find myself dreaming about the what-ifs.  I love my job, but also go to school full time trying to complete my degree so I can pursue a bigger career goal.  I love my home, but I am constantly painting, remodeling and landscaping to make it my dream home.  I am a pretty healthy individual, but I know I can always do better and lose just a few more pounds….and the list goes on.  Are we all on a hamster wheel of betterment?  If I just stopped all my pursuits, sold all my stuff and lived in a little hut close to the beach and waited tables at a local diner for the rest of my life, would I be a failure?  Would I regret it? Or would I be happier?  When is it enough?

Is it crazy to think that we are all just one choice away from completely changing our entire lives?  My daughter is graduating high school next month and goes off to college, she has a job and her own car and a boyfriend.  Her life stays busy with friends and work and school.  When I divorced I stayed in the small town I currently live in because I wanted my daughter to have a relationship with her Dad.  Even though I dreamed of moving to another state and starting over.  Now that my daughter is ready to spread her wings and fly I find myself at a point where I could actually consider moving.  However, with the passing years in this small town changes have occurred, I bought a home, went back to school, made lots of friends, met a wonderful man and the idea of moving and starting over isn’t as appealing anymore.  I have started this new path and things seem to be falling in place fairly well, but sometimes I still dream of escaping to that small place near the beach with a lot less responsibility.

So where does our need to be great come from?  Are we trying to keep up with the Jones’s so to speak?  Are we trying to make someone proud or make a bunch of money so we can have the nice car, big house and take extravagant vacations every year?  Do we just work-out and lose the weight so we can look hot in our summer beach pictures and get the compliments on social media?  How much of what we are working for is really for us?  How much of it is really what we value in life?  When is it enough?

When I feel overwhelmed from constantly pushing for a better future I make myself stop and reflect.  If I don’t slow down sometimes I feel the possibility of burn-out coming.  I evaluate what I have in my life and take time to be thankful for where I am, what I have, and who I have become.  Once I have taken the time to be thankful, I fully accept it and all the good and bad that comes with it.  Maybe you have a long way to go to get where you want to be but accepting it and knowing that you are trying is the key.  With acceptance comes relief of being able to let go of the need to push for more.  Just stop and take a moment to fully embrace where you are in this very moment in life and know that it will change.  How it changes is up to you, don’t push too hard, don’t force it, just allow yourself to embrace the moment and actually enjoy the process.  If there is no joy in the process maybe you should let it go.

At the end of each day make peace with yourself in knowing that you put out effort, maybe not as much as the day before and maybe more, but that doesn’t matter because the world is constantly changing and tomorrow is a new day.  Be thankful for each day you have and don’t waste it by constantly focusing on the future.  Stop and take a breath, become fully present and enjoy the moment you have right in front of you and know that right now, in this moment, you are enough.

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With love, happiness, health and knowing you are enough…

Stacy

Are You A Goal-Getter?

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When I think about my goals I can easily list off 5 or 6 that I am currently working on in my own life.  So, needless to say, I was surprised when I realized that some people just float through life without ever setting any goals.  A goal is different from a dream, you can dream of doing big things in life and still not be a goal oriented person.  The difference between a goal and a dream is the action behind the goal.  I remember being more of a dreamer when I was younger and made excuses for not taking action because I had a fear of failure.  Well, I have news for you, if you never take action, that fear never goes away. You just spend the rest of your life letting that fear own you.  I think most would agree, to try and fail is better than to never have tried at all.

So when I think about the many self-improvement and motivational books, articles, and speakers who have shared great knowledge of how to tackle and achieve goals there are a few bits that really stood out for me.  First of all, I think a lot of people are more dreamers than doers when they are young, and for the same reason I was, fear.  This fear is not just from a fear of failure though, the simple fact is, we don’t fully know and understand who we are yet.  In more than one of the many books and articles I have studied it states, most people really do not come to a deeper understanding and comfort in their own skin until about the age of 40.  I just turned 41 in December of last year and I would have to say I agree with this theory.

When we are young we go through different relationships and experiences, we change our majors multiple times or maybe completely drop out of college, and the whole time we are deciding what we like and don’t like.  The more we learn, the more we understand what dreams are worthy of making into goals.  Many of us make the mistake of starting out living other peoples dreams for us, we rush into marriage and having babies before asking ourselves if this is really something we are ready for, or we go to college to be a doctor or lawyer because that is what our parents want for us.  Maybe you just graduate and take over the family business or go work at the local factory because that is what the generations before you did.  Living out other peoples dreams becomes automatic and we sometimes forget we have a choice in the matter.  I think this happened a lot more with those of us who lived before cell phones and social media because we were not fully aware of all of our options.  We were environmentally conditioned to think and be a certain way and if we did think outside the box we were often made to feel bad about it.  Now, it is a whole different ballgame!

My daughter just turned 18 this year and she is aware, overwhelmingly aware, of all of her options.  The sky is the limit and she can go anywhere and be anything; and if she wants to learn more about a certain place, person or thing she can research it to exhaustion and decide if it is worth her time or not.  Because let’s face it, when working towards a goal, time is of the essence.  Prioritizing your time when going to school, working full time, and trying to make times for loved ones, exercise, and working on personal goals means that every minute counts.  I have done my best to encourage my daughter to weigh her options and explore different paths and do not allow herself to get locked in to anyone else’s way of thinking.  I think this can happen a lot with new high school graduates.  They decide to go to the same college together with friends or a boyfriend/girlfriend, or some go straight into a job to earn money and those who don’t get the immediate job get tempted by the factory job because their friend has a car and spending money on the weekends.  I see this thought process with a lot of kids in the small town where I grew up and currently in the town where my daughter is graduating.  Do not allow yourself to get sucked in to the right now and end up stuck in a job you hate or a town you never intended to stay in.  There is a whole world out there waiting for you to explore!

Understanding yourself should be your primary goal because once you learn yourself it opens the door to all other goals and opportunities.  Do not float through life on auto-pilot living a life that does not bring you joy and fulfillment.  Ask yourself what dreams you have that you can put action behind and make a plan to do it.  Even if its just to get in better shape and you go for a 30 minute walk, three times a week after dinner then that went from a dream to a goal because you are now doing something about it.  If you want to be a writer, I have always heard to be a good writer you have to read as much as you write, so if you want to be a good writer you need to be reading and/or writing something every. single. day.  Decide what you like and don’t like and do not let another person’s opinions shape that decision.  Being a goal-getter is a bit of a selfish process and that is okay.  Once you start making time for those goals your life will begin to change for the better and those who support you and the life you love will stay and those who don’t will fade away.  Goals are life changing and necessary for growth.  If you are feeling stuck, unhappy or even down-right depressed then it is time to ask yourself what goals are you working toward right now?  A life without goals is not living, it is simply just existing.

With love, health, happiness and a whole list of goals,

Stacy