Dream Big Anyway

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As I move through life there is one thing I have come to realize, those who know you best are the hardest to convince when you are in the process of change.  You know that moment, when you are telling your best friend, partner or parents about your dreams for the future and they are kind of half-ass supportive…They want to show excitement but you can tell by their response they are thinking your dreams are bordering on the impossible.  In this moment you want to get defensive, maybe even angry and tell them how they are supposed to be your support team and then you make the mistake of asking them why they may feel it is not going to work out.  As this person you love and respect gives you valid reasons for why those dreams are impossible the doubt takes over and you begin to backtrack.  This moment has happened for many of us in our lives and sadly I can say it has held me back from my dreams on more than one occasion.  The truth is, that doubt is not yours to own, its theirs and you should let them keep it.

The people we love and respect who are the closest to us have this little power over us to some degree.  Whether we intend to or not we have a tendency to put their beliefs above our own and have them on a pedestal.  We need to remember that love and respect is not synonymous with perfect and all knowing, they are human too.  Sometimes our biggest supporters (like our parents) get scared that if we dream too big we will fall apart when we fail and so their first instinct is to protect us.  Maybe our friends, partner or parents have tried and failed in the past and they have a belief that it is unlikely you can do it if they couldn’t.  This may sound awful and not like support at all but again, we are all human.  Our beliefs about life are formed by our own personal environments and experiences.  So those we love, respect and admire are only capable of responding with what they know and where they are in life at this moment.  If they are struggling in their own personal way they may not be able to support you in your dreams.

There have been times in my life where everyone in my support circle was consumed with their own struggles and I felt like I was treading water to find the boost I needed to tackle my dreams.  I had to reach deep inside myself to find the strength to push all the negativity aside and push forward.  I found the strength through books, blogs, podcasts and YouTube videos and of course I always turn to meditation and prayer.  I followed the advice of those who were not in my personal circle and learned that no matter what you must continue to dream big anyway.  Telling others about our dreams is often easy to dismiss, you have to put action behind your dreams.  As the action starts to show fruit then you will begin to become more confident and to make believers out of them, then the support will grow.  The start of the process is never easy and it will take the strength to look within and explore on your own.  As you stay on the path for your dreams you may notice some individuals fade out of your circle and new people arrive.  This process is natural and proves even more that you should stay on your own path and dream big anyway. True success and happiness lies within and even though a good support system is helpful, it doesn’t define you or your success level.

With love, health and happiness



Are You A Goal-Getter?

goal getter

When I think about my goals I can easily list off 5 or 6 that I am currently working on in my own life.  So, needless to say, I was surprised when I realized that some people just float through life without ever setting any goals.  A goal is different from a dream, you can dream of doing big things in life and still not be a goal oriented person.  The difference between a goal and a dream is the action behind the goal.  I remember being more of a dreamer when I was younger and made excuses for not taking action because I had a fear of failure.  Well, I have news for you, if you never take action, that fear never goes away. You just spend the rest of your life letting that fear own you.  I think most would agree, to try and fail is better than to never have tried at all.

So when I think about the many self-improvement and motivational books, articles, and speakers who have shared great knowledge of how to tackle and achieve goals there are a few bits that really stood out for me.  First of all, I think a lot of people are more dreamers than doers when they are young, and for the same reason I was, fear.  This fear is not just from a fear of failure though, the simple fact is, we don’t fully know and understand who we are yet.  In more than one of the many books and articles I have studied it states, most people really do not come to a deeper understanding and comfort in their own skin until about the age of 40.  I just turned 41 in December of last year and I would have to say I agree with this theory.

When we are young we go through different relationships and experiences, we change our majors multiple times or maybe completely drop out of college, and the whole time we are deciding what we like and don’t like.  The more we learn, the more we understand what dreams are worthy of making into goals.  Many of us make the mistake of starting out living other peoples dreams for us, we rush into marriage and having babies before asking ourselves if this is really something we are ready for, or we go to college to be a doctor or lawyer because that is what our parents want for us.  Maybe you just graduate and take over the family business or go work at the local factory because that is what the generations before you did.  Living out other peoples dreams becomes automatic and we sometimes forget we have a choice in the matter.  I think this happened a lot more with those of us who lived before cell phones and social media because we were not fully aware of all of our options.  We were environmentally conditioned to think and be a certain way and if we did think outside the box we were often made to feel bad about it.  Now, it is a whole different ballgame!

My daughter just turned 18 this year and she is aware, overwhelmingly aware, of all of her options.  The sky is the limit and she can go anywhere and be anything; and if she wants to learn more about a certain place, person or thing she can research it to exhaustion and decide if it is worth her time or not.  Because let’s face it, when working towards a goal, time is of the essence.  Prioritizing your time when going to school, working full time, and trying to make times for loved ones, exercise, and working on personal goals means that every minute counts.  I have done my best to encourage my daughter to weigh her options and explore different paths and do not allow herself to get locked in to anyone else’s way of thinking.  I think this can happen a lot with new high school graduates.  They decide to go to the same college together with friends or a boyfriend/girlfriend, or some go straight into a job to earn money and those who don’t get the immediate job get tempted by the factory job because their friend has a car and spending money on the weekends.  I see this thought process with a lot of kids in the small town where I grew up and currently in the town where my daughter is graduating.  Do not allow yourself to get sucked in to the right now and end up stuck in a job you hate or a town you never intended to stay in.  There is a whole world out there waiting for you to explore!

Understanding yourself should be your primary goal because once you learn yourself it opens the door to all other goals and opportunities.  Do not float through life on auto-pilot living a life that does not bring you joy and fulfillment.  Ask yourself what dreams you have that you can put action behind and make a plan to do it.  Even if its just to get in better shape and you go for a 30 minute walk, three times a week after dinner then that went from a dream to a goal because you are now doing something about it.  If you want to be a writer, I have always heard to be a good writer you have to read as much as you write, so if you want to be a good writer you need to be reading and/or writing something every. single. day.  Decide what you like and don’t like and do not let another person’s opinions shape that decision.  Being a goal-getter is a bit of a selfish process and that is okay.  Once you start making time for those goals your life will begin to change for the better and those who support you and the life you love will stay and those who don’t will fade away.  Goals are life changing and necessary for growth.  If you are feeling stuck, unhappy or even down-right depressed then it is time to ask yourself what goals are you working toward right now?  A life without goals is not living, it is simply just existing.

With love, health, happiness and a whole list of goals,


Live High

Take a moment to ask yourself what kind of people you surround yourself with.  Do you look at your friends and co-workers and instantly feel like you are doing great in life because they are couch surfing, pay-check to pay-check, smoke it if you got it types?  If so then maybe you need to raise your standards.  If you are working to be better each day then surround yourself with people who will push you to be better.  People who have great jobs and are constantly educating themselves, growing, and learning through new projects and ideas.  People who have great relationships with equally awesome, motivational and inspirational people who take care of their bodies and minds by surrounding themselves with goodness.

What we consume mentally, physically, emotionally, nutritionally and socially are all part of our overall health.  If you are around negative people who feel they are stuck in a dead end job or relationship and constantly bitch and moan about it but never take action then maybe you should re-evaluate your friendships.  Surround yourself with doers not wishers.  You can be a person who sits on the couch drinking a six-pack and thumbing through a travel magazine talking about all the places you wish you could visit or you can create a plan on what it will cost to take that trip and go buy an awesome new set of luggage.

Live high with people who choose to actively progress up the ladder of success with words and actions.  Be with the people who talk about the great trips they are actually taking, not just the trips they wish they were taking.  Surround yourself with people who are actually writing the books, going back to school, showing up at the gym everyday and volunteering their time….not those that just talk about those things.  When you surround yourself with people who are living high on life they will automatically raise you up to their level.   Nobody wants to have to face a successful group of friends who are talking the talk and walking the walk everyday unless they are doing the same.  Raise your standards and surround yourself with those you aspire to be more like and in turn you will see your life change.

To living happy, healthy and high…