Sometimes I find myself making decisions on people and then after some time passes I reconsider and let them back in my world only to be reminded why I let them go the first time. There are people who bring us lessons and people who bring us blessings in life and there are some that may do both. Those that bring a bit of a lesson and a blessing can be the most frustrating and confusing, forcing you to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. What is the end-game? Is this a person who brings much joy to your life or more negativity? Law of attraction will sometimes bring people into our lives when we are not in a great place. Water seeks its own level. We feel a connection to another person that fits the whole “misery loves company” mantra but then, if we are smart, we work our way out of the misery. Then what happens when the other person does not leave the misery?
This may leave you feeling obligated to help pull that other person out of their situation, because , well…they helped you in your hard time. However, this is not how it is meant to be. The truth is, if you were able to make the choices to pull yourself out of the low point and move forward, then so can they. Do the counseling, make the hard choices, work on yourself, but don’t latch on to another for validation or completion, not in friendships or romantic relationships. Asking another individual “what do you want me to be” is the wrong question to be asking. The real question is what do you want to be, or better yet, who do you want to be? Laying that kind of pressure on another person is not only wrong but it leaves yourself looking insecure and needy. Many confuse this kind of complete vulnerability with love and it is not. Illusions of that kind of love often leads to a never-ending rotation of unfulfilling relationships with people who are looking to be completed by another individual. I don’t know about you but I want someone who is already complete and happy in life on their own!
Learning that the ups and downs we are experiencing in life can attract these lessons or blessings people can help us be more aware of why and be rational about our expectations. I truly believe people, places, and things are attracted to us at certain times and give us feedback on what path we may need to take. Personally, my eyes were opened to a deep need for communication and conversation and I quickly found that connection. However, as I became more aware of what I was missing it helped me move out of my unhappy situation and grow to realize there were even more things I had been missing and I began to find those things in others along my path as well. If you keep going and growing eventually you reach a person who is on a similar path. Your friends want to do things that excite you, letting you know that they are on the same path. If you find certain people boring, annoying, or overly negative, then those are probably people you attracted at a low point and are now outgrowing. Life is a constant cycle and some things and people are for a season and some for a much bigger reason. It is good to recognize and accept this fact.
I have found conversations that connect with me and draw me in with questions about myself with a desire to not assume they know me but want to learn about me from my own words. There is nothing worse than hearing from a person who definitely doesn’t know your soul telling you they already know you, maybe better than you know yourself. One of the biggest lessons in life is understanding that you will never fully know anyone so well that asking for clarity would be a mistake. If you don’t ask questions then you are just making assumptions based on your own desires and feelings. That leads to expectations, confusion, and heartache. Stop and take a breath to evaluate, listen, and observe. When you put your desires out into the universe and keep a positive outlook you will attract those that are right for you and others that are not will naturally fade away. If they see the value in you they will try to find the lesson and grow as well but often many people remain stuck looking for their saving grace not knowing that they should be their own saving grace before they can find a fulfilling life of friendships and a romantic partner. So ask yourself, are you repeating a cycle or learning new things? Are you allowing yourself to move away from relationships that are no longer serving you or staying in the dead end? Are you learning the lessons in order to find more of the blessings?
With love, health and happiness,