False Start in Dating

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As of Tuesday around 1 pm my attempt at dating someone new failed.  A friend of mine once warned me about those whirlwind romances and how they can end as quickly as they start.  Sadly, I feel this guy is a great guy in many ways and how he chose to end things was very disappointing.  I knew the end was inevitable because he just didn’t fit into my world.  There is something to be said for taking time to heal and learn to be on your own after a divorce or breakup.  I realized I wasn’t ready in some ways, but he was even less ready and in denial of that fact. The jealousy and insecurity on his part often came out in ugly random texts when we were apart, but then things were fantastic when we were together.  The red flags were there early on but I chose to set them aside and wait to see if there would be a pattern or if it was just the normal navigation of dating someone new.

Sometimes we get side-tracked from our goals  and ignore boundaries when we find a person that is so close to what we want. Basically, I allowed myself to be side-tracked and make excuses for him.  I was allowing many things that I knew were not okay with me because the pros were outweighing the cons.  However, the cycle was continuing with the pattern of negative remarks being made, me getting upset, him apologizing and giving me all the excuses of stress, not feeling well, and being insecure from people who had done him wrong in the past.  None of these things are my fault and I no longer wanted to be the person he chose to take it out on.  After a couple of months of seeing this cycle I knew it was not just his current situation but who he is as a person.  So when I finally pointed out the pattern he broke up with me…through text.  Sadly, his response was to just disappear and not even attempt to discuss the possibility of growth or change.

Since I have not reached out after his disappearing act I may never know exactly why he chose to just cut off communication instead of trying to talk it out.  I will choose to be positive and hope that he realized he needed to learn to be alone a bit longer and work on himself before entering into a relationship.  I guess his perspective no longer matters at this point.  It is up to me to decide how I feel about the situation and how I plan to move forward.  When someone drops communication that easily after such a short amount of time I conclude that I was never as important as they said I was.  This realization can sting a little until you realize that you just dodged a major bullet.  Looking back over the last two months I really have no regrets.  I enjoyed getting to know him and enjoyed the time we spent together.  I feel sad that we could not have parted in a nicer way but his cold exit speaks more to the type of person he is and has nothing to do with me.

It was a good start with the potential for so many things to come but as I have learned, you can’t fall in love with just potential, you have to fall for the person as they are.  I think maybe I was still learning that lesson in this experience.  I think it is important to learn something from each experience and in the process become more clear on what you really want in a relationship and out of life in general.  I think the last two months definitely helped me do both.  Looking to the future and still keeping my eye on the prize!  Stay positive my friends!

I highly recommend the book pictured in this post if you are navigating the dating world! It gives great insight and forces you to be honest with yourself!

With love, health, and happiness,

Stacy

Making It Work In Your Favor…

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Soooo I took my 3 days of Spring Break last week even though I didn’t fly to Chicago like I had planned.  Instead I worked from home a bit and enjoyed time being lazy and eating and drinking with the new guy in my life.  By Saturday I realized that maybe this stay at home thing was possibly a downward spiral of pajamas, day drinking, endless Netflix and overeating and I needed a self-check.  I drove home from my boyfriends house and thought about how I was going to navigate coming back to the office this week and what the future may hold.

Monday morning it was clear that this week would be the week we all get set-up for Telemedicine and make the final transition to all of us working from home.  I have always wanted to work from home and thought this would be super productive and then I thought of my few days off just the previous week.  Yes, that was supposed to be a bit of a vacation but I also know it was super easy to sleep in, snack, and stay in my pajamas all day cuddling with my guy.  I realized that was not the pattern I wanted to get stuck in if I was going to be working from home for a month or more.

I want to make this time at home work in my favor and if I plan to do that and be a productive individual I would still have to have a schedule.  I could sleep in a bit more because I would not have my commute but it also opens the opportunity to have more time to exercise, meditate, and make myself a healthy breakfast, do some laundry, organize closets and still check emails, make calls, and do my billing and coding for insurance claims.   It is vital that I create a routine from the start so that I do adopt bad habits in my daily routine.

This week, as I finalize things at my office to transition to working from home, I am also creating a schedule for my days at home and my plan is to really make this time work in my favor.  I have learned from my research of others who have worked from home for years that it is so important to still have a regular wake-up time and lunch time, and close the office door time.  As I create my new schedule for home I hope to find balance and still be productive while enjoying this opportunity to build discipline and structure for when I do have my own practice.  Project number one, make my guest room into a home office!  How are you navigating changes?

With peace, love, happiness and healthy vibes to all,

Stacy

Fear of Missing Out & Only If Mindset

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In today’s world I think most of us suffer from the fear of missing out and the only if mindset.  We want to see, do, be as many things in life as possible and we often live for the future …if only I could have that car, that house, that degree, that job, that partner…then life would be perfect!  We forget to take pride in who we are and where we are in this very moment.  We are so focused on the next big adventure or the thing of the future that we ignore all the good right in front of us.  I am a planner so I often find myself struggling with both of these.  I get my heart set on a goal and keep my eye on the prize and this helps motivate me when times get tough.  However, I have come to realize, as with all things, there must be a balance.

It is great to make plans and have goals to learn and experience new things.  It is wonderful to put dreams out into the universe for a better lifestyle, nicer things, and fantastic relationships, just don’t let these wants and desires for the future take over the present moments.  Take time to truly enjoy where you are and reflect on how far you have come.  Remind yourself that there was a time when you may have prayed to be where you are right now and have some of the things you have right now.  Take time to celebrate those wins you have already accomplished along the way before moving on to the next big thing.  The constant drive for more can be unhealthy and end up leading you in a life of never being satisfied or happy.

So take time today to slow down and appreciate the present moment.  Look at your life and think about how far you have come and truly appreciate your efforts and hard work.  We must be thankful for what we have now and give thanks regularly in order to receive all that we desire in the future.  Taking time to give thanks in your daily practice of meditation or just as you get ready to start your day is a great positive habit. Spare nothing in your time of giving thanks, running water and indoor plumbing as I shower and get ready, my body functioning properly as I climb out of bed and stretch, my healthy teeth as I brush them…include every detail of life in your list! Truly feel it in your heart as you give thanks, don’t just run through it like a grocery list.  I am thankful for all of you who read my blog!

With love, health, and happiness,

Stacy

 

Self-Compassion

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I have been through some serious changes since last Summer:  a breakup, starting grad school, and my one and only daughter going off to college have topped the list, and more recently the start of dating someone new.  As I near mid-terms in grad-school our professors often encourage the importance of self-care.  In the field of counseling we are inundated with client worries and concerns throughout our work day on top of navigating our own personal and professional stress.   This can quickly cause burnout in my career field but this can be true in many other career fields and life situations as well.  When we are experiencing a lot of changes it can be overwhelming even if they are positive changes.

I changed my job and started this new career path just within the last couple of years and even though it has mostly been rewarding, there have been times when I felt overwhelmed and unsure.  I love to read and have a bit of a magazine addiction, its one of my guilty pleasures and you can find stacks of magazines by my bed, bathtub, and couch.  Being a big fan of yoga, meditation, and mindfulness, I love to receive my Yoga Journal magazine and as I was reading through one of the most recent issues I came across an article recommending a book by Tara Brach called Radical Compassion.  I am also a member of Audible and decided to use my monthly book credit to check it out.  I love to listen to audio books on my drive to work each morning and this one is definitely worth the read!

Self-compassion is a little different than self-care but I think both are required in order to truly take care of yourself.  I think most would agree that we are all our own worst critic in life and many of us overachievers focus constantly on what we should be or could be doing better and even shaming ourselves for our areas of struggle.  Monday I had a bad day, I felt like I was just going through the motions and basically not really accomplishing much of anything that day.  Then on Tuesday my day was better but my significant other was out of town on business and our evening conversation consisted of him relaying to me his extremely complicated day!  Here we are on Wednesday and we both have high hopes that it is only going to get better!  After my manic Monday I woke up determined to get my shit together and not let my Tuesday be a replay.  I often push myself to work through lunch and Tuesday I chose to have lunch with a friend and I even bought a plant in a beautiful container to put on my desk.  I allowed myself to just enjoy my lunch hour and not rush back to the office.  That afternoon I accomplished more than I would have if I had stayed through lunch and tried to push through.

Normally, I would have beat up on myself for taking time for myself after having such a non-productive day on Monday, but I have come to realize it is necessary to let go and just be every once in a while.  We were not put on this planet to trudge away with work, school, paying bills and raising kids day after day.  Having a wonderful job, furthering your education, being able to pay the bills, and raising a healthy happy family is all joyful but we all know there is more to life.  It is not selfish to have things that just bring you and only you, joy.  Allow yourself grace to have a bad day and allow yourself time to just be and do something you enjoy that only benefits you.  Recognize and train yourself to be self-aware when you feel stressful, hurt, and angry emotions and how those negative feelings feel in your body.  Accept & allow those feelings and understand they are normal.  Sit with those feelings for a bit, really allow yourself to feel them.  Investigate where those feelings come from, how they came about, and why they feel so strong in that moment.  Then nurture yourself by understanding the emotional ups and downs of life are not only normal but necessary.  This concept of  recognize, allow, investigate and nurture are known as RAIN and is more deeply explained in the book by Brach.  We need to be reminded what it is like to struggle and have a bad day every now and then because it helps us learn, grow, and truly appreciate the good days.

It may be hard to see it and believe it in some situations but even life at its worst is still a positive experience because there is opportunity for learning and growth through self-awareness; opportunity for acceptance and connection through self-compassion, and opportunity for moments of joy and freedom through self-care.  So as we move through the rest of this week and find ourselves getting closer to Spring remember better days are ahead and you don’t have to have it all figured out, all together, all the time.

With love, health, and happiness,

Stacy

How Do You Respond When Hurt?

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I cried today.  The level of emotion and exhaustion hung over me all day like a cloud and after work and class I drove home in a fog and my bed never felt so good.  I was mentally, physically, and emotionally spent and basically just overwhelmed with emotion.  Each day I struggle to navigate work related issues, some days with mad success and others I feel I am just barely getting by.  I work hard in my classes trying to learn and so grateful for the support of my classmates, especially those in my small group of four for my Skills class.  Then, there is my home life, family, friends, my daughter and pets who all add up in this great big thing I call life and last but certainly not least, the new man in my world.

Navigating this new relationship has been interesting, mostly fun and exciting but today was a rough one for me.  Apologies were said and love shared at the end of the day, but I also felt true hurt and sadness for the first time today in my new relationship, by words said through text messages.  Words are powerful and they stick and I feel words shared in a text can sometimes, sadly, be more powerful than the spoken word.  Spoken words in anger can be blurted out without much thought, just a quick reaction out of hurt or anger.  However, a text takes time to think and say in your head and then type out on your phone and finally press send.  Once said and put in the hard black and white, left to be seen by the person at the other end, it can’t be taken back.

We are all human and we all make mistakes.  Navigating bumps in the road of a new relationship is part of the process of getting to know each other.  One of the most valuable things to evaluate in yourself and others is how you get mad.  How do you respond when you are hurt and angry?  Do you lash out and say things to make the other person hurt too?  Do you withdraw and punish the other person with silent treatment?  One of the biggest tests of maturity in an individual is how they handle themselves when something is hurting them.  Fear of rejection, loss, loneliness, hurt…this can cause people to do and say crazy things sometimes.  I have always tried to ask myself three questions to run my thoughts through a filter when I am feeling especially emotional and hurt.  Is is kind?  Is it true? Will it help?  If my words do not easily filter through then they probably should be kept to myself.

I am a forgiving person, some may say I am too forgiving and too quick to move on and apologize but I honestly feel life is too short to stay angry or upset for long.  I am not saying forget it and act like it was never said or done, but we all know holding on to hurt and anger harms us more than it does anyone else.  Today I was kind and what I said was true and I tried my best to be helpful in clarifying my thoughts and feelings in the situation.  I took responsibility for my actions and apologized and he apologized for his hurtful words.  The difference is, my actions were never intended to hurt, I stayed out late with a girlfriend having drinks.  His words were intended to hurt me and this concerns me.  When I love someone the last thing I want to do is hurt them.  The need to punish or hurt the one you love so they feel the way you feel is selfish and honestly, just immature.  So ask yourself how you respond when hurt?  Could you practice more self control and filter your thoughts and feelings better before responding or reacting?  This is something that takes practice but has amazing impact on relationships.

The ability to own your part and apologize is a big part of maturity as well and forgiveness can come easy when you state your wrong and validate the other persons hurt.  However, at the end of the day those words can’t be erased with a simple I am sorry.  In a new relationship I understand there will be moments of misunderstanding and re-evaluating how this person is different from any other I have dated.  So today I choose to forgive and understand but….I still cried.

With love, health, and happiness,

Stacy

Bubble Wrap Your Heart

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The first thing I have noticed in the world of heartbreak and dating is the little bruises and cuts we receive on our poor tattered hearts over time and how those wounds stay with us as we try to work our way back up on the horse to try again.  I think it is safe to say we all know we should not punish the new person in our lives for the bad done to us by those before, but we often still do it anyway.  We may justify it by saying we learned a valuable lesson and we are just being smart with our caution and paranoid thoughts and doubts.  This person is too good to be true so when is the truth bomb going to blow-up in my face?  If you have ever been really heart broken and tried to start a new relationship all of these little thoughts and fears will creep into your mind at some point.  Maybe it will be after the first excitement of new love starts to fade and those good morning texts don’t come quite as consistently?  Maybe it is the first time you spend the night together and don’t have sex?  At some point you think…is this it, is this a form or rejection, the beginning of the end, or are we in a good comfortable place?

First, we must understand these thoughts are all normal and usually there is some degree of fear and wonder coming from both people involved in the relationship.  It is good to move slow, get to know the other person, and create a comfort level for communication so that these worries and thoughts can be shared.  If someone makes you feel silly or crazy for voicing your feelings then that should be a pretty big red flag right from the start.  Every relationship and every couple is unique but also remember you are still a unique individual.  Do not allow your thoughts to be consumed by the other person.  The smartest way to protect your heart is to make sure you are truly happy and fulfilled on your own before you enter into a relationship.  Too often I see beautiful, smart, independent women become so caught up in the romance that they let other parts of their lives fall to the wayside and they have regrets about it later.

Remember who you were in the beginning of the relationship, which is also probably a big reason why the other person fell in love with you in the first place.  So if you go dropping all these parts of your life that made you you, then it will surely change the whole dynamic of the relationship.  Of course, changes, growth, and compromise will occur as a relationship matures but this should be a compatible process that flows naturally.   Each relationship will have its highs and lows, ebbs and flows, and stops and goes.  This is a normal part of sharing a life with another person.  Try to allow yourself to fully heal before entering a new relationship and understand that if things are moving too fast it is okay to slow down and re-evaluate.  It is possible to be wise and still be hopelessly in love.  Let yourself enjoy the moment but don’t forget who you are in the process.  A person who is truly in love with you will encourage you to take your time, to talk things through, to have your space, and to keep your hobbies and interests.  You can protect your heart and still allow yourself to love again.  Happy Valentines Day!

With love, health, and happiness,

Stacy

 

 

 

Balancing Act

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Well 2020 has started off like the Kentucky Derby running full speed ahead and whipping my arse all the way! I have been juggling work, school, time with family and friends, trying to stay healthy and the very beginnings of a new relationship that was completely not in my plans.  It happens when you least expect it is what I have always heard and he definitely was not!  Trying to balance everything and still make time for myself has been a bit of a struggle.  It is impossible to give one hundred percent to every aspect of your life so that means that when trying to focus on one area there is bound to be at least one other area that starts to falter.

I have previously posted about tools like the Wellness Wheel that can help us check in and see how we are doing in all the areas of life but the truth is, most of us already know where we are struggling.  I often feel like I am in a game of Jenga, steadily pulling time and effort from one area and stacking on another and any minute it is all going to come tumbling down on me.   This balancing act can be a bit stressful at times and that is why it is so important to stop and be present.  It is easy to get caught up in the crazy flow of everything life and not stop to smell the roses.  However, I have found when I do take time to slow it all down is when I realize it is all going to be okay.

I have wrote about acceptance before but more from a perspective of accepting others not situations.  There are going to be points in life where we just have to accept the fact that we are not going to have the time to do and be the best at everything.  As long as you are trying your best that is good enough.  Don’t be afraid to ask yourself if some of the things you are trying to add into your day are even worth it.  If you are making time for things that really don’t add to your joy in some way can you just cut them out?  Now I know that some of you will say you would like to cut out cleaning your home or doing laundry but doing those things actually do add to your joy in the end game.

It is good to re-evaluate your schedules, habits, and routines on a regular basis and ask yourself what can be done better and what can be done away with.  I am constantly re-assessing how to make my life more productive and balance everything I want in life.  If you are trying to balance so many things that you love you may end up not loving any of it.  Do not overwhelm yourself with trying to be everything to everyone.  Make sure you are focused on things that are truly a priority to you.  Also, it is good to remember, goals can change because we as people are constantly changing.  Maybe the passion you felt in one area isn’t really who you are or who you want to be anymore.  Big changes may be necessary in order to create a more positive balance.  Moving closer to work, changing jobs, going back to school, deciding to have a baby, or even considering working less and traveling more are all big things to consider in life.

Don’t hold back because you are comfortable where you are, push yourself to change and grow.  With change and growth you may find that more positive balance you were longing for. Sometimes we find ourselves stuck in a rut and feeling like we have stay somewhere in life out of obligation and I am here to tell you that is not true and there are always options.  Those options may be hard to navigate but often, at the end of the day, they are so worth it.  So here is to big changes in life and goals in order to find that healthy balance we all desire!

With love, health, happiness & balance..

Stacy

Can You Have It All?

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It is possible to have it all but usually it doesn’t happen all at once.  There is a method to how it all falls into place and most of the time you won’t see the plan until after it has been executed.  Looking back on my life I can easily see how certain situations and people were meant to come to me at a certain time in my life.  If they had come sooner or later, I would not have learned the lessons and grown from the experience in the same way.  We all have our own path and we all have our own unique desires and goals.

When I think about the idea of having it all I realize my idea of a joyful and fulfilling life may not be the same as the next person.  My ultimate dream is to finish my degree and eventually be my own boss so that I can have the freedom to work and travel on my own terms.  I have also always dreamed of having a loving partner with a passion to do the same.  Work hard and still have wonderful experiences in travel and share the dream as a team, supporting each other in our goals and passions.  I want to pursue my writing and even possibly do some public speaking on topics that promote ideas and strategies for people to live happier, productive and more fulfilling lives.  These dreams are going to take some time to develop for many reasons, I realize I have to learn and grow in some areas first and I also realize I have to heal and trust after past experiences.

It always comes back to a question I often repeat to myself, based on my past experiences, my current circumstances and my future hopes and dreams, what is the wise thing for me to do?  The wise thing is to recognize when a good thing presents itself but don’t lose focus of the bigger picture.  Remember the lessons from the past and the boundaries you created to protect yourself moving forward.  Keeping all of that in mind you can also let go of the need to control every little detail and enjoy the process.  It is possible to do well in your education and career while developing a new relationship, getting in the best shape of your life and remodeling your house.  It is also possible to create real and serious plans for the future if you suddenly find yourself walking on a more solid path with like minded people.

I admit that I look at my path now compared to this time last year and my path is much more clear and defined.  So much can change in one year!  I see greater potential for the things I have always wanted.  I am happier because I have gained clarity.  I know I am capable of accomplishing everything I want and having it all.  Things are falling into place at just the right pace.  I don’t have to force it, just simply enjoy the process.  You don’t want to have it all, all at once.  You want to feel and see it all develop.  It will fall into place like a puzzle, each piece developing in its own time but all meant to add to the bigger picture.  School is moving right along and I am learning more and more with my job every day.  I have steadily been investing in little home projects and working on improving my diet and increasing my exercise.  Reading books and putting into practice skills for improving my productivity, efficiency, and the joy in all areas of my life.

With all of this focus on self-improvement I have allowed myself to set the relationship aspect of my life on the back burner.  However, it was still a very important part to my bigger picture plan and would be a big part of finally having it all.  As I have started to feel more confident in those areas of my life I have naturally attracted the potential partner and relationship, the timing is really quite amazing.  When you let law of attraction and God take control and stop trying to figure out the when, where, how, who or why of what you want amazing things start to happen.   Don’t force it, just let it come naturally and the world becomes magic.  Don’t question it and don’t worry about it anymore.  Trust and believe that it is already in process and that you can and will have it all, just not all at once.  Because we are meant to enjoy the process and be in the moment, we appreciate it more when we can look back and see how it all fell into place. In that reflection we can often find meaning in those little steps along the way.  The beauty of life is in all those little details, don’t become so focused on the destination that you forget to enjoy the road trip on the way to having it all!

With love, health, and happiness,

Stacy

Emotional Intelligence

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I have met people that are extremely intelligent in my life but have had absolutely no social or relational skills.  The emotion most often and easily displayed by this person was anger and even then it didn’t always make sense.  Being around this person involved constant mixed signals and wondering where I stood in the relationship.  It was like pulling teeth to have a normal conversation unless I hit on a subject he was really passionate about.  When you spend a lot of time with a person who is low on the emotional intelligence scale it can actually start to make you feel like maybe something is wrong with you.  In a nutshell, communication sucks and you start guessing at what the other person is thinking because you get tired of asking.  Of course when communication is lacking and it is left up to us to assume because asking starts to feel intrusive, then it leaves a person feeling insecure in a relationship.

So what happens when you finally move on and take time away from someone with low EI and then you encounter someone with incredibly high EI?  The dynamic is actually really life changing.  I realize by this point in my life that I need to communicate regularly in order to feel happy in my relationships.  It doesn’t have to be long drawn out  and significantly deep conversations all the time.  A simple check in with my adult daughter throughout the week and a loving text to from the man in my world to let me know he misses me while he is out of town on business is enough.  My love language is words of affirmation.  I love to hear how I am doing, where I stand, and what is going on with others in my life.  I cannot express enough how important it is to learn what the top love languages are for the people in your life.  My second is quality time and my third is physical touch.  Knowing this about myself and letting others in my life know how I express and feel loved is helpful in keeping strong relationships.

You can be the smartest person in the room but if you cannot walk up to a person and have a normal give and take conversation you will not get as far as someone of average intelligence that can make everyone laugh and feel at ease.  If I had to give young people advice moving forward in any career field it would be to work on their emotional intelligence and communication skills.  To be able to communicate effectively and relate to people is useful in any aspect of life and taking the time to develop those skills through public speaking, writing, or even learning to just be a better listener are all keys to greater success.  Dale Carnegie and Tony Robbins are great references for how to better develop emotional intelligence and communication skills but there are many other greats as well.

Emotional intelligence is not something you just have or don’t have.  Yes some may come by it more naturally just like anything but it is a skill that can be developed.  Just like learning and becoming better in any field, music, math, computer technology, or writing, practice makes you better.  The art of learning to express yourself effectively and not being afraid to allow yourself to get a little vulnerable with others is life changing.  If you have time to invest into going to the gym or learn to play the piano, then you can practice your social skills easily.  Talking to others is something you do everyday so why not learn to do it well?  I can say from experience my eyes have been opened to what it is like to date a man with limited emotional to intelligence to what is like to date one with very high emotional intelligence and the experience is night and day.  As they often say, communication is key.

With love, health, and happiness

Stacy

Unexpected

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Sooo I had a plan.  I am not saying I am giving up the plan but I may need to re-evaluate the plan.  See, I thought I needed to work on myself and some of that probably stemmed from the break-up last Summer.  Okay, maybe most of it did.  When we get rejected by someone we care about it makes us feel like something is wrong with us, or at least it did me.  So it is common after a breakup to really work hard at becoming better versions of ourselves.  I have been doing my yoga and meditation each day, journaling and prayers, and trying to drink more water and make healthier food choices and all of it has paid off.   I am a positive person I think most would say and I do believe that if you put your desires out into the universe with full belief and faith in the process and with good intentions, then good things will come your way.  

I had a plan to go a year without dating but I had also painted a picture of what I want in a relationship in the future.  At my age and after dating a few different guys you become pretty clear about what you definitely do want and what you don’t want in a relationship and significant other.  I had planned to stay open to making new friends but I wanted to focus on my career and school.  I have been working on healing my heart for six months and trying to come to terms with the fact that I was single again.  I have always heard it happens when you least expect it.  I accepted the phone number but made it clear I am not looking for a relationship.  I accepted the invitation to meet up for dinner and the conversation is easy and the night ends in a kiss that left me thinking…okay that would probably qualify as a date.

When the flowers come to my office on Monday I know I am in trouble.  I like this guy and he obviously likes me.  Is it really unexpected?  Yes and no.  I think the law of attraction worked exactly the way Abraham Hicks said it would.  Put your desires out into the universe and let God have it in his control to set in motion and make happen.  So this week I have struggled with this unexpected chain of events and I have had to ask myself…what is really happening here?  Basically, I set my intention to find a partner and then I let it go and got focused on my school and career.  I didn’t go out looking for him, he found me.  I didn’t force it or try to control the situation, it happened without me trying at all.  It happened just like it was supposed to, just like I wanted, naturally.  Am I saying I know without a doubt this guy is the one for me?  No, not just yet but I do think there is some serious potential behind those green eyes and that easy smile.  I guess it is true, some of the best things in life are the ones you never expect…. I guess only time will tell.

With love, health, happiness and the unexpected,

Stacy