A Year of No Dating

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So if you have been following my blog you know that I went through a hard break-up from a man I still love in 2019.  I have tried to consider the idea of dating again and after much thought I feel that maybe this is my year to just focus on my personal and professional growth.  To date right now would be pointless anyway because it would not be fair to anyone considering I still have feelings for another.  So as I move forward in this year I will be tackling school, career, physical, mental, and emotional growth and learning.

If you have followed my blog you will also remember a series I recommended called Just Ask It and you can find it at justaskit.org.  I highly recommend watching the entire series but part 4, called Edged Out is a must watch, it actually touches upon the idea of going an entire year without dating.  The truth is, I really do not mind being alone, it doesn’t feel lonely to me most of the time.  I do have moments on some days where I miss the companionship of another but I would prefer to be happy and alone than miserable in a relationship.  I remind myself, making compromises of my bigger picture goal to overcome a moment of loneliness is really not worth it.  So what is the bigger picture goal?

As I work through my mental health counseling degree and started therapy on my own to get the feel for what it is like as a client, I realized the importance of knowing what we bring to the table in relationship versus what we want from a partner.  I admit that I often did not feel good enough in my relationship, especially in the beginning.  There were many things I wanted to accomplish and work on within myself when I met him.  I am not saying that you cannot be in a relationship while working on big goals in life because I did go into my relationship believing I could accomplish it all and still have the relationship.  However, as the relationship progressed and my goals started taking shape I could see my feelings in the relationship start to change.  I wanted more in every aspect of my life and did not want to settle for just being the girlfriend anymore.  I like steady progress, I want to see progress in my career, my education, my finances, my personal self and my relationships and I want a man who desires the same.

So, as I move into the new year I realize that it is probably best to rise up to my own personal standards first.  Then I can feel confident when I am ready to date again to feel good enough when I enter into a new relationship.  We cannot pray and meditate for a partner who has it all if we are just sitting on the sidelines in all or even just some areas of our lives.  Get happy with yourself and feel full in your own world then it is much easier to attract and join together with someone who wants to navigate the world with you.

With peace, love, health and happiness,

Stacy

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