As we move through life and get older we often encounter relationships and experiences that leave a mark on us. Unfortunately, the marks left and most memorable seem to be the negative ones. Often we replay conversations in our heads and think about how we should have handled things differently or said something different in those moments or maybe you feel you should not have said anything and just walked away. Maybe you made bad choices and those stay in your mind overriding any good choices you might have made along the way. The truth is, we are all our own worst critic and we tend to be much harder on ourselves than anyone else would be.
Holding on to those negative experiences and choices from the past and replaying them in your head only builds the negativity within your mind, body, and soul and can only lead to increased stress and even illness. It is important to find a way to accept the past for what it is, take away any lesson or growth opportunity that you can apply in the future and fully let go of all the other nonsense that plays on repeat. Holding on to past negativity can poison your future if you hold on to it, especially if you take the negativity from old relationships into your new ones. This is why it is so important to give yourself time to grieve and heal from a broken relationship before moving on to a new one.
Letting go is a conscious choice and not always an easy one. Ruminating over past incidents that may have hurt or angered you is part of the healing process in order for your mind to try and make sense of the pain you are feeling. After a period of time the ruminating no longer serves as part of the healing process and becomes unhealthy. Letting go is necessary and requires just admitting to yourself that you may never fully understand why things happened the way they did. You may never understand the mind of another person and trying to will only create more struggle and hurt. Each day is a new day and a chance to choose differently about how you feel and what you choose to think about. Why choose negativity when you can choose something positive?
Science has shown where you focus in the mind is what will manifest in your life. Here are some ways to shift from the negative to a more positive thought process…
- Write your new story focusing on how you want things to be when you are living your best life.
- Create a vision board on Pinterest of all the things you love and places you want to travel.
- Make a goals list of long and short term goals.
- Create a focus wheel.
- Write a list of positive affirmations.
- Go for a walk or hike in nature.
- Spend time with your pets.
- Take a yoga class that involves meditation.
- Invite friends to breakfast instead of dinner to start your day positive.
- Learn to cook something new.
- Get a massage.
- Take a bubble bath while listening to a positive audio book or pod cast.
- Plan a trip, even if its just a weekend road trip.
- Go to your place of spiritual connection, church, or nature…wherever you feel most connected to God or your source of love.
- Smile more throughout your day and be nice to strangers you encounter.
- Learn something new or start a new hobby.
These are just a few things that can inspire and motivate to stay in a positive frame of mind and not get stuck on that hamster wheel of negative thinking. I have practiced enough I will only speak positive over the people who have hurt me in my past if they come up in conversation. I refuse to relive that part of my life and I sincerely pray for them to find a better way of living as well. The laws of the universe will only bring those negative thoughts, words, or feelings back around to you eventually anyway. So train yourself to choose to look for the positive and focus there, research shows, just 17 seconds of focus on something positive can shift your whole day. If you start making a habit to catch yourself when your words, thoughts, or actions are becoming negative you can make a shift. Move yourself to a positive exercise or just go general if being positive seems too frustrating in the moment. Pause and allow yourself to become hyper aware of your surroundings and how your body feels, what thoughts are flowing through your mind? Self-awareness is the key to changing the negative thought patterns and refocusing on the positive. It takes practice but it will be life changing.
With love, health, happiness,