About four years ago I had just started the relationship that has recently ended. We came into each others lives when we already had full lives and plans made as single individuals. So that summer he went with friends to California while I visited one of my closest friends in Florida. During that time I felt amazing. I was working a full time and part time job and had not started back to school yet but I was seriously thinking about it. Thinking back to that time in my life, just four short years ago, I realize how much I loved about myself and how much I have grown and accomplished. I completed my bachelors degree, started my masters degree, changed jobs, paid off my car and other debt and so many other adventures have occurred along the way. It is easy to feel sad and focus on the things that went wrong or we could have done better in a relationship once it ends but in order to really appreciate life and move forward in a healthy way it is better to really focus on the good.
Looking back I truly thought I had found a guy that had a healthy life and full life of his own, like I did, and we could come together in a way that would allow us to maintain those lives while adding to each others. I had found an honorable and trustworthy man that I did not have to challenge and check-up on because he seemed to constantly challenge himself in life to constantly grow and be a better man in every aspect. I thought I had found my equal, a man who saw the world not exactly like me but was on a similar path and a few steps ahead of me to offer support and guidance in my goals while I supported him in his already established business. It was an exciting time and it felt like a relationship full of potential and promise. Considering where things are now I realize that my perspective was not exactly in alignment with his and maybe it never was. I will probably never know what his thoughts were at that time or at any specific time in the relationship. All I know is, my intentions were good from the beginning and I loved him to the fullest and after it is all said and done I feel he did love me too.
As I move forward I have discovered the process of grief covers many emotions and sorting through the past is necessary. Once we get through the shock, heartbreak, sadness, anger and forgiveness of self and the other person we finally come to a place of acceptance. In that moment we can hopefully look back at the time spent with the other person and appreciate the good, the bad, and the ugly, as part of the journey to who we are today. I am inspired by that little bit thinner, much more tanned, longer hair version of myself four years ago. She was full of hope and joy for so many things and four years later she has accomplished many of them! So now is a time to set some new hopes and dreams and see what the next four years will bring! Lets get inspired this holiday season as the year comes to an end…inspired by our past courage, faith, motivation, endurance, and grit to keep finding the positive, learning and growing with every experience life throws our way!
With love, health, and happiness,