At 41 and about to cross over into 42 I have learned a lot about the world around me and myself. My life has been full of ups and downs and through it all I grown to be a happier and healthier woman. Lately, I admit sadness takes up residence in a corner of my heart due to loss of a relationship but as I have experienced before, this too shall pass. As I move through my day, getting up each morning to make my bed, meditate and pray, shower, brush my teeth and feed my pets, these routines give me comfort. My drive to work each morning is usually listening to an audio book and often my morning routine at the office means arriving early and involves coffee, checking emails and maybe a little time to write.
As I move through my work day I like the freedom to work through each task at my own pace and often work through my lunch hour because I truly love my job. Leaving around 5 each day I listen to my audio book again or sometimes I choose to listen to music. Evenings may very, but often throughout the week I have dinner either alone or with my daughter, if I even eat dinner. Sometimes my evening classes in grad school prevent even having time for dinner. When I am home alone and don’t have class I may take an hour for Netflix or Prime, use the evening for study time or reading a book of my choice. Reading soon leads to crawling into bed and a cup of hot tea before finally falling asleep. Then I wake the next day to do it all over again.
Sometimes, I may go for walks in the evenings after work or have dinner with a friend. Occasional yoga classes, kayaking or hiking on the weekends keep me active. I try to plan little trips throughout the year to explore a place I have never been in one trip and to get my beloved beach time at least once a year. I love my three cats, my dog and my house plants and my beautiful 18-year-old daughter who is in college and works. She makes occasional appearances to spend time with her mom when she isn’t working on school, working at the restaurant or spending time with her boyfriend and friends. I am a partial empty nester, which means I spend a lot of evenings throughout the week home alone, but that doesn’t really make me lonely. I have learned to really appreciate my alone time.
As I recount my day to day activity I realize that I am living a blessed life. I have so much to be thankful for and I have learned that being exactly where I am is enough. I have spent most of my life striving to be, do, and have more and honestly, it can be exhausting. Just accepting and fully appreciating who I am, what I have accomplished and all the people I have met, experiences I have had, places I have traveled….I know I have done well and nobody can take that away. I have learned that people may come and go in our lives but those who truly have touched my heart will remain in my heart. I have learned that to truly forgive brings a peace that cannot be matched. I have learned that there is no wrong way to love and you cannot love too much, there are just people that may not be ready for the type of love or the amount of love you have to give. I have learned that no dream is too big and no act of kindness is too small to matter.
Some mornings I may wake thinking I just don’t feel like going through the same old routine again, I just want to pull the covers over my head and hide out. What I have learned about that feeling, it is normal. We all have days where we can’t really explain why but we just don’t want to get up and go. I have also learned that pushing through is often good but sometimes it is okay to just call in to work and take a mental health day. I have learned that it is okay to not always be positive and have a smile on your face, but the more you smile the better life usually is. I have learned many things in my life and as Thanksgiving approaches and I reflect on the last 41 years, I know one thing is for sure, I will never stop learning. The peace of slowing down and appreciating exactly where I am in this moment is truly the best lesson I have learned yet. I ask that as you prepare to have time with family and/or friends this holiday season to just fully appreciate the moment and always look for the lesson.
With love, health and happiness,