The last couple of months have been full of emotion and lessons learned. The amount of growth has been amazing and even a bit overwhelming at times. Sometimes things happen that force us to reflect on where we come from, where we are, and where we want to be on a deeper level. In the process of reflection we may find that where we are is a wonderful place to be and where we are going is full of amazing possibilities. We tend to get caught up in the day to day grind of life with work, kids, family & friends. If we don’t take time to stop and take it all in we may not realize certain important aspects. I have spent my life setting goals and trying to better myself. I am constantly striving to be happy in every aspect of my life and sometimes that means hard work and sacrifice and making hard decisions.
A couple of months ago I made the hard decision to bring up my desires for the future of my relationship with the man I had been seeing for four years. He did not respond in the most positive way and it left me with a broken heart. However, in the days and weeks after a letter, text messages, and a conversation happened, there was much left to be reflected on. We never know what another person is thinking or feeling in the moment that we allow ourselves to be completely vulnerable, but I took that chance anyway. Over the next month I just tried to move on and do my best to heal. However, little connections still occurred between us and there was obviously still love lingering between us.
There is a bitter-sweetness when you know you have loved someone fully and time is spent apart where you miss them and the thoughts of what could have been whirl in your mind. To pray, meditate, allow yourself to fully visualize a life with a person that just simply makes your heart skip a beat every time you see them can be an emotional process. Then one day the phone call comes…they ask how you are, they tell you they miss you, and you plan to meet…the conversation is simple and the chemistry is palpable. The spark you thought had faded was really just needing a little stoking to reignite the fire. Is it real or comfort? Is it something deeper or just a sweet random moment? Should we allow ourselves the opportunity to get excited and want more or are we setting ourselves up for disappointment and hurt all over again? Only time will tell….
With love, happiness, & health,