There is a definite vulnerability in sharing your dreams with someone. I don’t just mean telling someone about your dreams but also letting that person know they are part of your dreams. I am going through this process in my life right now. I have been hurt before, assuming everything is going well, then realizing my dreams for the future and his were not in alignment at all. The slap in the face moment left me a bit broken and the process of picking up the pieces and rebuilding my self-esteem has been a bit of a struggle. With all of that being said, I have fears even when things seem to be going well. To me, being vulnerable has often meant the beginning of the end, especially in relationships.
So here I am, a little over 4 years in to a relationship and I feel like everything is great and we both really love each other, but the cards have never really been laid out on the table. I need to hear it and know for sure that my hopes and dreams for the future align with his. After going back to school and doing a lot of soul searching and growth within myself I feel courageous enough to lay all my cards on the table and strong enough to accept the truth…the whole truth and nothing but the truth (so help me God). I avoid serious conversations, or what many refer to as “the talks” like the plague and my boyfriend is even more introverted and even more bajigity when it comes to this kind of thing. I often build myself up through my day with how to start the conversation and ask the hard questions and then get home from a long day of work and anticipation and sit next to him on the couch all comfortable and tired and think….this is not the right time. The truth is, in order for a relationship to be truly happy and fulfilling we have to have the hard conversations. We have to address the hard stuff in order to grow and move forward and get to the really good stuff.
I can assume by all the wonderful gestures and things in our relationship that we are totally on the same page but assumptions are bad…we all know it. If something goes bad between us tomorrow and he says…well I never said ABC… then I would not only be heart broken I would be mad at him and myself. Where we stand in life has to be stated to those we share a life with. If our dreams are big and beautiful in our mind but we never share them with others then we may be missing out. What if the other person has dreams even better than yours that do involve you? What if they have been just as scared and nervous to share their dreams to and your willingness to finally be vulnerable opens the door to a much closer bond? On the flip side, what if you realize your dreams are not the same and it gives you the opportunity to address it sooner than later? Realizing you are not in alignment is not the end of the world it just means you adjust your dreams so that you can follow the path the universe is just now ready for you to see.
The truth is, people are put in our lives for different reasons and sometimes only for seasons. Even though it may hurt really bad to see them go, it also means you are growing in some way and ready to move to the next step. We have to be willing to accept when we are growing a lot and courageously working through each hardship, charging towards our goals, some may not be able to keep up. You want a partner that sees you being courageous, working hard and charging forward and they think…Yes! That is my girl(man) and I want to be right there with her(him)! A partner who can support you, cheer you on, challenge you and share dreams and life with you is the best kind. Don’t cry, beg and plead for them to stay in your life or share in your dream if they are being honest about their own and it doesn’t align. They are doing you a favor by being honest and this means that as much as you love the person in front of you, there is absolutely someone else who will actually share your dreams. Even more, as hard as it is to imagine in that moment, you will most likely love the next person even more than the one who doesn’t share your dreams!
Knowing that you love someone and that they are on board in sharing your dreams creates a whole new kind of dynamic in a relationship. The excitement and desire to tackle the world together builds when you realize that you have a true partner in every aspect. So don’t be afraid to be vulnerable, lay your cards on the table and have the hard talks….your dreams depend on it.
With love, health and happiness, and willingness to shoot for the stars,