As I move through life there is one thing I have come to realize, those who know you best are the hardest to convince when you are in the process of change. You know that moment, when you are telling your best friend, partner or parents about your dreams for the future and they are kind of half-ass supportive…They want to show excitement but you can tell by their response they are thinking your dreams are bordering on the impossible. In this moment you want to get defensive, maybe even angry and tell them how they are supposed to be your support team and then you make the mistake of asking them why they may feel it is not going to work out. As this person you love and respect gives you valid reasons for why those dreams are impossible the doubt takes over and you begin to backtrack. This moment has happened for many of us in our lives and sadly I can say it has held me back from my dreams on more than one occasion. The truth is, that doubt is not yours to own, its theirs and you should let them keep it.
The people we love and respect who are the closest to us have this little power over us to some degree. Whether we intend to or not we have a tendency to put their beliefs above our own and have them on a pedestal. We need to remember that love and respect is not synonymous with perfect and all knowing, they are human too. Sometimes our biggest supporters (like our parents) get scared that if we dream too big we will fall apart when we fail and so their first instinct is to protect us. Maybe our friends, partner or parents have tried and failed in the past and they have a belief that it is unlikely you can do it if they couldn’t. This may sound awful and not like support at all but again, we are all human. Our beliefs about life are formed by our own personal environments and experiences. So those we love, respect and admire are only capable of responding with what they know and where they are in life at this moment. If they are struggling in their own personal way they may not be able to support you in your dreams.
There have been times in my life where everyone in my support circle was consumed with their own struggles and I felt like I was treading water to find the boost I needed to tackle my dreams. I had to reach deep inside myself to find the strength to push all the negativity aside and push forward. I found the strength through books, blogs, podcasts and YouTube videos and of course I always turn to meditation and prayer. I followed the advice of those who were not in my personal circle and learned that no matter what you must continue to dream big anyway. Telling others about our dreams is often easy to dismiss, you have to put action behind your dreams. As the action starts to show fruit then you will begin to become more confident and to make believers out of them, then the support will grow. The start of the process is never easy and it will take the strength to look within and explore on your own. As you stay on the path for your dreams you may notice some individuals fade out of your circle and new people arrive. This process is natural and proves even more that you should stay on your own path and dream big anyway. True success and happiness lies within and even though a good support system is helpful, it doesn’t define you or your success level.
With love, health and happiness