Never Enough

Has the words “never enough” played through your mind before?  Do you constantly find things about yourself or your life that you want to improve upon?  At what point does a healthy drive for self-improvement turn in to something defeating and negative?  I am a weird mix of a dreamer and a doer so even though I pursue bigger goals for myself constantly, I also find myself dreaming about the what-ifs.  I love my job, but also go to school full time trying to complete my degree so I can pursue a bigger career goal.  I love my home, but I am constantly painting, remodeling and landscaping to make it my dream home.  I am a pretty healthy individual, but I know I can always do better and lose just a few more pounds….and the list goes on.  Are we all on a hamster wheel of betterment?  If I just stopped all my pursuits, sold all my stuff and lived in a little hut close to the beach and waited tables at a local diner for the rest of my life, would I be a failure?  Would I regret it? Or would I be happier?  When is it enough?

Is it crazy to think that we are all just one choice away from completely changing our entire lives?  My daughter is graduating high school next month and goes off to college, she has a job and her own car and a boyfriend.  Her life stays busy with friends and work and school.  When I divorced I stayed in the small town I currently live in because I wanted my daughter to have a relationship with her Dad.  Even though I dreamed of moving to another state and starting over.  Now that my daughter is ready to spread her wings and fly I find myself at a point where I could actually consider moving.  However, with the passing years in this small town changes have occurred, I bought a home, went back to school, made lots of friends, met a wonderful man and the idea of moving and starting over isn’t as appealing anymore.  I have started this new path and things seem to be falling in place fairly well, but sometimes I still dream of escaping to that small place near the beach with a lot less responsibility.

So where does our need to be great come from?  Are we trying to keep up with the Jones’s so to speak?  Are we trying to make someone proud or make a bunch of money so we can have the nice car, big house and take extravagant vacations every year?  Do we just work-out and lose the weight so we can look hot in our summer beach pictures and get the compliments on social media?  How much of what we are working for is really for us?  How much of it is really what we value in life?  When is it enough?

When I feel overwhelmed from constantly pushing for a better future I make myself stop and reflect.  If I don’t slow down sometimes I feel the possibility of burn-out coming.  I evaluate what I have in my life and take time to be thankful for where I am, what I have, and who I have become.  Once I have taken the time to be thankful, I fully accept it and all the good and bad that comes with it.  Maybe you have a long way to go to get where you want to be but accepting it and knowing that you are trying is the key.  With acceptance comes relief of being able to let go of the need to push for more.  Just stop and take a moment to fully embrace where you are in this very moment in life and know that it will change.  How it changes is up to you, don’t push too hard, don’t force it, just allow yourself to embrace the moment and actually enjoy the process.  If there is no joy in the process maybe you should let it go.

At the end of each day make peace with yourself in knowing that you put out effort, maybe not as much as the day before and maybe more, but that doesn’t matter because the world is constantly changing and tomorrow is a new day.  Be thankful for each day you have and don’t waste it by constantly focusing on the future.  Stop and take a breath, become fully present and enjoy the moment you have right in front of you and know that right now, in this moment, you are enough.

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With love, happiness, health and knowing you are enough…


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