If there is one thing I have learned in life it is that perspective is everything. How you choose to apply situations and other peoples words and attitudes in any given moment can make or break you. When a string of negative events occur, like you stub your toe on the way to the bathroom as soon as you get out of bed, then you spill your coffee in the car on the way to work…we can easily think “it’s going to be a craptastic day and I should go back to bed”. The key is to not let 2 negative events ruin your whole day. Just like you should refuse to allow one ‘Negative Nancy’ making a negative comment to you not ruin your day. The attitude you take on in those moments will determine what comes your way next. If you handle each moment with grace and humility, choosing not to let it get you down, then you will see a change for the better. How you choose to respond to life can change your life.
Don’t take it personal. I cannot say this enough, especially to my teenage daughter! Nothing in life is really a personal attack on you. The universe or God is not trying to punish you for something when you have a bad day. If you stub your toe and spill your coffee, maybe you are just meant to slow down and enjoy the morning and stop rushing through your day. That is a lot better perspective than just assuming the whole day is ruined. Learning to find a positive spin in every situation is a great practice. Being able to take what could be seen as a lemon of a day and turn it into lemonade can be very refreshing!
Don’t get stuck in other people’s thoughts and emotions about you. Other people may lash out in anger or jealousy, maybe even guilt or shame, towards you at different points in your life. It is good to take responsibility for your part, but understand the difference between owning your own mistakes and taking on others negativity. You know where you stand on morals, values, beliefs, and if someone tries to label you it says more about who they are than it does you. Let those words roll off like water and stand strong in knowing who you are.
Be more of a listener and observer than a talker. God gave us two ears and two eyes and only one mouth. I think that is because he wanted us to listen and observe more than he wanted us to run our mouth. Your perspective of others can change when you listen and observe the world around you instead of just going through your day on auto-pilot. Watch how others behave and the words they speak of others, this will give you a lot of insight into who the person really is. This will also make you more aware of yourself and what you may be putting out into the world for others to hear and see about you. People find it so easy to spew nasty comments on social media or through text messages instead of looking someone in the eye. Many do not realize, these quick and often thoughtless comments say a lot about a person and can be more damaging to them than to the person they are talking to or about.
Practice Privacy. I know at first this may seem like an odd suggestion when it comes to perspective but keeping your life private to some degree can create a different perspective for you and others. When you are in a relationship with the love of your life I believe there is a special intimacy that should be kept just between the two of you. You don’t need to share every detail to your friends or post every bouquet of flowers on social media. This need to advertise our “perfect” life or relationship and create a perspective to others that we are always living the dream is exhausting. When you share a special moment or a private joke with a parent, friend, or lover just keep it for yourself. You don’t have to post every picture taken on your vacation to the Bahamas. Keeping certain parts of your life sacred can create a tighter bond with those you are really sharing it with. When others do not know details of your relationships then they cannot have an input, which is sometimes a really good thing. If you want authentic relationships then don’t advertise them and open yourself to the opinions of others.
You Are Flawed. I often ask myself what I can be doing better. When I hear my boyfriend talk about his employees I find myself wondering if I do those positive or negative things he points out. The truth is we all have room for improvement and we can all learn something from others. You never want to think you are the best and the brightest in the room. There is a difference between confidence and being full of yourself. If you always have to get the last word or always be right, if you need others to agree with you or you assume if they don’t they are wrong and they are stupid….well then you are most likely the one with the problem. Be willing to really listen, put yourself in other peoples shoes and treat others how you want to be treated. Everyone has a different story, all of us are unique and have reasons for why we think, feel and believe the way we do and no one is perfect. Coming from a perspective of an open heart as well as an open mind can be life changing.
With love, health and positive perspectives on life,