As I have gotten older my circle of trusted friends has gotten smaller. I have different levels of friends but I would say I have about 5 girlfriends that I have the desire to talk to about my world and theirs on a deeper level. These five women are all very different and affect my world in different ways. One is like a mother and mentor to me at times, telling me lessons she has learned in life along with great beauty secrets. The other is a hot headed, hard working, ball of energy that is way too hard on herself but never seems to stop giving to others. The next is a friend that I feel I want to kill sometimes and can’t love enough at other times. She challenges me because we are so different in personality but she has helped me grow as a person. The fourth close friend that comes to mind is my best friend from high school who never fails to make me laugh and is my biggest cheerleader in life, other than my daughter. Then the final friend is my hippie, gypsy friend who has been my little sister since the day she opened up to me about being pregnant and scared shitless. She allows me to be a mentor and give her advice on what I have learned in life but she is also my calm person to turn to when I am stressed or upset. The laughter and tears shared with all these women are what makes true friendship valuable. If you have a friend that you have never had a disagreement with, then they are not a close friend. Real friends disagree and keep on loving one another. It is like a sisterhood!
I have other amazing women and men in my life that I consider friends and I do believe that we have different levels of friendships but these women have been there for me and allowed me to be there for them. The give and take has built a bond that will be hard to break. So what is the basis of a good friendship? Why do we have deep connections with some people and not others?
I think a lot of it has to do with where we are in our live when we meet people. I have a tendency to bond with people that I work closely with. Out of the five friends I have mentioned, I have worked with three of them. The others were the friend I went to school with and a neighbor. If you go through a really hard or embarrassing point in your life and a person supports you and puts up with all your craziness then they are a keeper. My group of five have seen me go through divorce, break-ups, sickness and deciding to go back to school and financial hardships…the list is endless and they have all been there in their own special ways. I have returned the favor as best as I can by being there for them but words can not always describe how much I truly love and appreciate each of them.
Cultivating strong, happy friendships is one of the best things I have ever done in my life. Each of these women bring great talents and wisdom to the table. I have learned in the past that some friendships can drain you and leave your feeling used. I believe it is good to re-evaluate all relationships in your life every now and then and ask yourself if each relationship is improving your life and bringing you more joy or frustration. That is true with jobs and everything else in your life! If someone or something is causing more harm than good then why keep it in your life? Clean out the friendship closet and release those friends that only ever call when they want something or the ones who are always too busy to have lunch or take your call. You have to cultivate relationships and put in the quality time in order for them to grow strong and healthy. If someone doesn’t want to put in the effort then they probably do not really need your friendship.
My family is very important to me, especially my relationship with my daughter, my boyfriend is also very important to me. Then of course my brother and his family and my parents, but then I have my friends who are like family. Each relationship I have with family and friends is important to my life and made me the woman I am today. I am thankful for even the friendships that have been cleaned out of my life because they have taught me lessons about myself as well. The relationships we build in life are more important than anything else we will do in our lifetime so make them count and let them know you love them!
To your happiness, health, love and friendship!