The Growth Project

This post is about the “Ah Ha!” moments in life and what we learn as we grow-up…I believe we are constantly striving to grow-up a little more every year, (or we should be).  Maybe “grow-up” is not the best choice of words, maybe, growing towards a better version of ourselves.  I would like to share a few of the valuable lessons in growth that I have learned.

I work a lot of hours in a week as well as spend a lot of my time studying on top of balancing time with family, friends, and the amazing man in my life.  This can be exhausting and I have learned the importance of “me time”. It took me some time to be okay with this, but it has been one of the most important lessons I have learned in life.  It is okay to push everything else aside every now and then and just do you. Be lazy, sleep in, make yourself a nice meal, read a book or watch a movie, take a long bath…do whatever you want to do and don’t feel guilty about it.  This quality time with myself has been the key to my sanity throughout the years.

The next valuable lesson I have learned in my growth experience is saying no.  Not just being able to tell people that you do not want to do something, but also not feeling guilty about it later.  I work hard and I take care of my responsibilities in life so when I have free time I really value that time.  Life is too short to commit to things you don’t really want to do.  Now, I understand that there are times you may not want to do something but the joy it brings to a person you care about may be worth it.  I have sucked it up a few times and done things that I may not have been thrilled to do just so I could see the smile on my daughters face or my boyfriends face.  Sometimes their smiles and happiness is totally worth it for me.  The truth is I would expect the same from them, be there for me when you can but don’t force it.  Be true to yourself and what makes you happy.  Which brings me to my next growth lesson.

Acceptance. Now this is something that I truly believe is one of the hardest lessons to learn, especially in romantic relationships.  Accepting yourself, others, and situations as they are without taking any of it personal. If someone tells you no because they do not want to do something you shouldn’t take it personal.  If someone decides they need “me time” and you don’t hear from them for a day, you should not take it personal.  When we are comfortable and content within ourselves then we are more accepting of others and their choices.  I have learned, when dating, if there are things I do not like about a man then it is not suddenly my goal to change him, but instead, an opportunity to ask myself, is this something I can accept?  If not, then I should probably move on.  Learning to accept life as it comes and people as they are is a real growing experience and it truly will make life so much easier.  Anyone who has ever tried to change someone knows that can be truly exhausting!  Once you stop struggling with what is and just accept it, then life just seems to flow much easier.

Staying focused and busy.  There is a phrase, “idle hands is the devils playground”.  I believe there is a lot of truth to this.  Have you ever noticed on the evenings that you are home alone and bored is when you text your man excessively?  I remember a time in my life that I felt that way and it drove me crazy.  I never want to be the person again. At this point in my life I have multiple jobs, full time college, a teenager and a home to take care of and a million other hobbies and interest to keep me busy throughout the day.  I make lists and schedules and constantly think of what projects or school work I could be working on. I have found that my constant on-the-go life is attractive to my boyfriend.  I think it is healthy for your significant other to know that your whole world does not revolve around them.  I think it is more flattering to a man if you simply choose to have them in your busy life because they bring something valuable to your world not the pressure of actually being your whole world. Women like that come off clingy and needy. I love my busy life and love that my man has a full and busy life as well. I believe it helps bring a true appreciation for each other when we do find time to be together.

The last, but certainly not least, big lesson I have learned over the years is the importance of putting a little time and effort into your physical appearance.  I already mentioned the “me time” and that is more about your mental & emotional well being, but the time you take to do a little yoga, floss and whiten your teeth, make a tan appointment, get yourself a manicure or pedicure, or just putting on that amazing face cream before bed each night….all VERY important as we grow older.  When I was younger I would go to bed with my makeup on, eat that extra slice of pizza, or skip a night of flossing and not think twice about it.  As I have gotten older I realize, eating right and having those routines will pay off big time.  Taking care of yourself and looking good builds self-esteem which affects every aspect of our lives!  We all know the most important relationship we will ever have is the one we have with ourselves.  So taking care of yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically is so very important.

Take time for yourself, do what brings you joy, accept life as it comes, stay focused on the goals that are important to you, and take time to really care for yourself. This will bring positive vibes your way and attract positive people and situations into your life.  At any time you start to feel the negativity of not enough time for yourself or the guilt of saying no, or trying to change someone or a situation, or not taking care of yourself…this negativity can lead to feeling a negative vibe and that will in turn attract more negative people and situation into your life.  Remind yourself of these lessons and allow them to help you stay focused on what is important to start on your path for personal growth.

Sincerely Yours for Better Health and Happiness,

Stacy

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